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"Infinite"

Oh yeah, this is Eminem baby, back up in that motherfucking ass

One time for your mother fucking mind, we represent the 313

You know what I'm saying?, cause they don't know shit about this

For the 9-6

[Verse 1:]

Ayo, my pen and paper cause a chain reaction

To get your brain relaxing, a zany acting maniac in action

A brainiac in fact son, you mainly lack attraction

You look insanely whack when just a fraction of my tracks run

My rhyming skills got you climbing hills

I travel through your mind into your spine like siren drills

I'm sliming grills of roaches, with sprayed on disinfectants

Twist the necks of rappers 'til their spinal column disconnects

We disinfect then check the monologue, turn your system up

Twist them up, and indulge in the marijuana smog

This is the season for noise pollution contamination

Examination of more cartoons than animation

My lamination of narration

Hit's a snare and bass of track fucked up rapper interrogation

When I declare invasion, there ain't no time to be stare and gazing

I turn the stage into a barren wasteland...

I'm Infinite

[Chorus:]

You heard of hell well I was sent from it

I went to it serving a sentence for murderin' instruments

Now I'm trying to repent from it

But when I hear the beat I'm tempted to make another attempt at it...

I'm Infinite

[Verse 2:]

Bust it, I let the beat commence so I can beat the sense of your elite defense

I got some meat to mince, a crew to stomp and two feet to rinse

I greet the gents and ladies, I spoil loyal fans

I foil plans and leave fluids leaking like oil pans

My coil hands around this microphone are lethal

One thought in my cerebral is deeper then a Jeep full of people

MC's are feeble, I came to cause some pandemonium

Battle a band of phony MC's and stand the lonely one

Imitator, Intimidator, Stimulator, Simulator of data, Eliminator

There's never been a greater since the burial of Jesus

Fuck around and catch all of the venereal diseases

My thesis will smash a stereo to pieces

My accapella releases classic masterpieces through telekinesis

And eases you mentally, gently, sentimentally, instrumentally

With entity, dementedly meant to be Infinite

[Chorus:]

You heard of hell well I was sent from it

I went to it serving a sentence for murderin' instruments

Now I'm trying to repent from it

But when I hear the beat I'm tempted to make another attempt at it...

I'm Infinite

[Verse 3:]

Man I got evidence I'm never dense and I been clever ever since

My residence was hesitant to do some shit that represents the M-O

So I'm assuming all responsibility

Cause there's a monster will in me that always wants to kill MC's

Mic messaler, slamming like a wrestler

Here to make a mess of a lyric smuggling embezzler

No one is specialer, My skill is intergalactical

I get cynical act a fool then I send a crew back to school

I never packed a tool or acted cool, it wasn't practical

I'd rather let a tactical, tact full track tickle your fancy

In fact I can't see, or can't imagine

A man who ain't a lover of beats or a fan of scratching

This is for my family, the kid who had a cameo on my last jam

Plus the man who never had a plan B

Be all you can be, cause once you make an instant hit

I'm tensed a bit and tempted when I see the sins my friends commit...

I'm Infinite

[Chorus:]

You heard of hell well I was sent from it

I went to it serving a sentence for murderin' instruments

Now I'm trying to repent from it

But when I hear the beat I'm tempted to make another attempt at it...

I'm Infinite

You heard of hell well I was sent from it

I went to it serving a sentence for murderin' instruments

Now I'm trying to repent from it

But when I hear the beat I'm tempted to make another attempt at it...

I'm Infinite

_________________________________________________

"W.E.G.O. (Interlude)"

(feat. Proof & DJ Head)

[old school hip-hop beat tune plays in the background like a radio station]

[Proof]

Yeah soul intent, checking it number one baby this week

You know what I'm sayin'?

This is MC Proof

[Head]

And DJ Head

[Proof]

Checkin' in on W.E.G.O.

You know what I'm sayin'?

Ay yo we got the number one requested song, of the DAY coming up next.

It's a local thing wants retilin'

It goes by the name of Eminem

And it's called "It's OK"

_________________________________________________

"It's Ok"

(feat. Eye-Kyu)

[Eye-Kyu:] Check it out,

[Eminem:] Hey Kyu!

[Eye-Kyu:]

[Chorus:]

It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)

I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)

It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)

It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)

It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)

I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)

It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)

It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)

[Verse 1: Eminem]

One day I plan to be a family man happily married

I wanna grow to be so old that I have to be carried

Till I'm glad to be buried

And leave this crazy world

And have at least a half a million for my baby girl

It may be early to be planning this stuff

Cause I'm still struggling hard to be the man, and it's tough

Cause man it's been rough, but still I manage enough

I've been taken advantage of, damaged and scuffed

My hands have been cuffed

But I don't panic and huff, frantic and puff

Or plan to give up, the minute shit hits the fan it erupts

I'm anteing up double or nothing, I've been trouble enough

And I'm sick of struggling and suffering, see

My destiny's to rest at ease, till I'm impressed and pleased

With my progress, I won't settle for less than cheese

I'm on a quest to seize all, my own label to call

Way before my baby is able to crawl

I'm too stable to fall, the pressure motivates

To know I hold the weight of boulders on my shoulder blades

I seen the golden gates to heaven on Earth

Where they don't pull a weapon on you when you stepping on turf, Q

[Eye-Kyu:]
[Chorus:]

It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)

I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)

It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)

It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)

It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)

I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)

It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)

It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)

[Verse 2: Eminem]

I'm going for broke, gambling and playing for keeps

Everyday in the streets, scrambling and paying for cheep

Praying for sleep

Dreaming with a watering mouth

Wishing for a better life for my daughter and spouse

In this slaughtering house, caught up in bouts

With the root of all evil

I've seen it turn beautiful people crude and deceitful

And make them do shit illegal

For these Grant's and Jackson's

These transactions explain a man's actions

But in the mist of this insanity, I found my Christianity

Through God and there's a wish he granted me

He showed me how to cope with the stress

And hope for the best, instead of mope and depressed

Always groping a mess, of flying over the nest

To selling dope with the rest

I quit smoking cess to open my chest

Life is stressful inside this cesspool

Trying to wrestle, I almost bust a blood vessel

My little brother's trying to learn his mathematics

He's asthmatic, running home from school away from crack addicts

Kids attract static, children with automatics

Taking target practice on teens for Starter Jackets

I'm using smarter tactics to overcome this slum

I won't become as dumb as some and succumb to scum

It's cumbersome, I'm trying to do well on this Earth

But it's been Hell on this Earth since I fell on this Earth

[Eye-Kyu:]
[Chorus:]

It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)

I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)

It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)

It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)

It's a broke day but everything is ok (It's ok)

I'm up all night, but everything is alright (It's alright)

It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep (I can't sleep)

It's a long year pretending I belong here (Belong here)

Uh, it's ok, yeah it's alright, even though I can't sleep

Uh yeah, it's ok, it's alright, I can't sleep

_________________________________________________

"313"

(feat. Eye-Kyu)

[Eye-Kyu:] Now what you know about a sweet MC, from the 313

None of these skills you bout to see come free

So you wanna be a sweet MC, you gotta become me

If you ever wanna be one see

[Eminem:] Man what you know about a sweet MC, in the 313

None of these skills you bout to see come free

So you wanna be a sweet MC, you better become me

If you ever wanna be one see

[Verse 1: Eye-Kyu]

Yo some people say I'm whack, now if that's right

I'm the freshest whack MC that you ever heard, in your lifetime

My slick accapella sounds clever with the beats

Boy I'm the deepest thing since potholes to ever hit the streets

Forgot a gold digger's succubus , my souls thick with ruggedness

With the mic I'm like a dyke, can't no nigga fuck with this

I got more Different Strokes than Philip Drummound

On open mic I bone your women just to keep my lyrics coming (bitch)

We elevated to new heights premeditated

Let it be that I stated they hate it now that they see that I made it

The escalated can be put to the test of greatness

Snatch the heart from MC's and I ate it

So I take it that's the reason I'm hated

To represent my temperment

If rap was a dick all you so called hard MC's would not be impitant

But pimping it, and acting like you could rock a show (so)

Harder than LL's Rock the Bells, but you is a ho (now)

Everything that you collaborate I lacerate

My rhymes they keep coming like nympho maniacs that masturbate

At a faster rate, yeah I got something for your ass to hate

I blasterate, and have you all running master gates

And as for face clutching and touching the flows

I got them open like marijuana smoke up in your nose

Bucking these hoes, I got that shit down to a science

Leaving them hot and bothered, turned on like an appliance

Defiance, no we won't have that

You want your shit to blow up?

Well I'ma stuff some dynamite in your ass crack

And blast that shit to kingdom come

Then bring them some of this real hip-hop

I drop beats and you ain't singing or gonna do a thing about

And you all knew from Meeko

That you couldn't hold your own with the strength of Lou Forigno

So stop that bullshit and flow

Yo, you need to come with the real skills, and act like you know

[Chorus: Eminem]

So what you know about a sweet MC, in the 313

None of these skills you bout to see come free

So you wanna be a sweet MC, you better become me

If you ever wanna be one see

[Eye-Kyu:] Now what you know about a sweet MC, from the 313

None of these skills you bout to see come free

So you wanna be the sweet MC, you gotta become me

If you ever wanna be one see

[Verse 2: Eminem]

So what, you know about a sweet MC, in the 313

You don't know shit so when you see one flee

You can be Run-D, you'll never beat the MC

I'll stop the alphabet at S and got it down to a T

I'm sure your bound to agree, a sweet MC crashes the spot

I'll make the roof hot like I was Rock Master Scott

Your ass forgot, so just in case you don't remember me

I'll run your brain around the block to jog your fucking memory

It's either them or me man, kill or be killed

You will and be sealed your casket closed you still gonna be billed

My facilities filled with fans, packed to capacity

I'll send a rapper back with the crack of his ass shitty

If he's acting soft and he cowers

He better come cleaner then Jay Rue jacking off when he showers

You flowers got no clout with a thing

You could date a stick of dynamite and wouldn't go out with a bang

I shout the slang, simple as A,B,C's

Skip over the D's and rock the microphone with E's

Dethrone MC's and I'ma max alone

Relax your dome like a solo from a saxophone

So facts are known, writers get treated with shocks

I rock a beat harder then you could beat it with rocks

I'm greeted with flocks, of fellow follower's singers

You couldn't make the fans throw up their hands if they swallowed their

fingers

But you can bring yours let's see what you got

But don't front and never try to be what you're not

Cause you can be quick, jump the candlestick, burn your back

And fuck Jill on a hill, but you still ain't Jack

[Chorus: Eye-Kyu]

So what you know about a sweet MC, from the 313

None of these skills you just seen come free

So you wanna be a sweet MC, you'll never become

_________________________________________________

"Tonight"

[Women Singing:]

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight

[Verse 1:]

I'm getting mad love, I'm snuggling hugs

Druggling thugs, smuggling drugs, juggling jobs, guzzling jugs

So here's a toast to federal checks

Hetero sex, unaffordable medical debts, huh

We travel in packs and ravel in facts and gravel in cracks

To find babbling Max, gaffling tracks

I grapple an axe for them baffling acts

The mysterious stab in the backs who dabble in wax

Still in my yard when I sculpted the culprit

The tall shit that will end up with his skull split

Then I buried the hatchet, I carried on my back

Butterfingers is here and it's necessary to scratch it

Baby all I wanna do is swallow one and two

Smoke a little bit and follow one of you

Back home when the party ends

So tonight I'm dropping naughty hints

To the finest women in the audience

[Chorus:]
[Women Singing:]

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight (blends in with lyrics)

[Eminem:]

Cause we came here to do this tonight

We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight

Cause we came here to do this tonight

Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright

Cause we came here to do this tonight

We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight

Cause we came here to do this tonight

Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright

[Verse 2:]

Ayo, biters are like tarantulas, vandealous

Living as scandalous as a television evangelist

But I can handle this, I'm the rhyme biter crime fighter

Caped crusader, taking care of undeserving lime lighters

I think a living never meant for me

Experimentally I found a way to spread interamentally

When I stumbled upon this resolution

By using a special fusion of chemical solution for this resolution

You couldn't see me with binoculars

I armed like an octopus

Step on stage and you get socked and pushed

Talking that junk like you went black, guarded your back

Come battle me and you get smacked as hard as you act

When I rap I represent it and will never referee in it

Every minute so when I win it you never resent it

I'm forever demented, come up with funk, I'll never be scented

You got the point when I cleverly said it

[Chorus:]
[Women Singing:]

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight (blends in with lyrics)

[Eminem:]

Cause we came here to do this tonight

We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight

Cause we came here to do this tonight

Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright

Cause we came here to do this tonight

We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight

Cause we came here to do this tonight

Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright

[Verse 3:]

Eminem is heading skyward

For those who thought that I would make you bored and treat you like a piece

of plywood

I've got miracle lyrical capability all in me

With the agility to escape a killer bee colony

So get your cameras and capture how miraculous

I rap for all you Draculas and showed you all how whack you was

I meant it as a dis, cause you don't posses the pizzazz as this

I'm hazardous enough already as it is

Without you adding fuel to the fire

I'm cruel to the liar

Who fails to recognize my reign of hell, rule to the sire

Clinical studies show that I'm cynical

There's no one who's identical to my fresh and authentic flow

I'm sure the party people can agree

That I'm enchanting, with the romantic

Freaking the vocals so frantically

So throw your hands up in the atmosphere

And let them know the only party that was phat was here, just be like

[Chorus:]
[Women Singing:]

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Tonight (blends in with lyrics)

[Eminem:]

Cause we came here to do this tonight

We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight

Cause we came here to do this tonight

Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright

Cause we came here to do this tonight

We don't wanna fight, we don't want no one feeling uptight

Cause we came here to do this tonight

Till the morning light hope that everyone's feeling alright

_________________________________________________

"Maxine"

(feat. Danaun Porter and 3)

Maxine!! (Phone Rings)

[Maxine:] Hello

[Denaun:] Can I speak to Maxine?

[Maxine:] Yeah this is me what's up?

[Denaun:] What up?

[Maxine:] Who dis?
[Denaun:] Denaun
[Maxine:] Yeah what's up?
[Denaun:] What are you doing?
[Maxine:] Nothing, just laying in bed
[Denaun:] Huh?
[Maxine:] Nothing, just laying in bed
[Denaun:] Why?
[Maxine:] I don't know, thinking about something freaky to do

[Verse 1: Eminem]

I know this crack fiend Maxine who needs a vaccine

She tests positive but tells you that her act's clean

Plus she got a sugar daddy

Asking every hooker that he takes in to crook her badly

If you mistook her sadly, on her reputation

You're in jepordation, if you ain't got no preparation

When you step away son, she got her face done

Looking provocative, she'll let you knock it if

You press the issue and get undressed to kiss you

If you match the price, otherwise she won't look at you twice

But when you catch the lice, or get the urgency

To go to the emergency cause it burns to pee

Don't bring your germs to me, cause I ain't trying to hear it

While your fighting you fucking disease trying to clear it (Maxine!!)

[Verse 2: Denaun Porter]

Sometimes I wonder, what's your purpose? In life that is

To get with every brother and unveil one of his kids, shit

You living trife, got three kids at home and club hopping every night

You say it's gonna stop but it.. just.. slows.. down

And then speeds back to a regular pace, there is no end to this

Mystery, whatever your reason even is to be

You say you wanna be with me, but how can you say that

When you got niggas hiding in your closet

I refrain from getting angry but you keep on that strangely

[Verse 3: 3]

I met this girl last week, she was a freak, and she liked me

So I stepped on it and then asked my homies

And chilled on the side and then watched they niggas

Big game over there and take notes, while I get this number

I stepped to her first I cleared my throat and said "Hey Bitch..

Haven't I seen you before?", looked at my nigga

Turned around and got slapped throughout my hands

And said "Oh it's like that?"

She said she just broke up with her nigga and shit

She started crying, and asked me to forgive her and shit

She said her name was Maxine, so I told her I wanted her number

She asked could I give her mine two

Got to the crib and called her up

We got into a good conversation that's when she asked me could I fuck

I said "Maxine check this out,

Give me your address I'll be through and you'll find out"

Got to the crib she let me in

She didn't waste time she grabbed my hand and proceeded to the bedroom

I said "Hold up, and stop proceeding, you rushing things"

What the fuck are you doing?

So I went for my protection, took off my clothes and started flexing

As she went for my midsection

I threw her down as I tore off her shirt

Pulled out my jimmy and I thought about putting in work

Before I hit it she said

"3 don't get mad but there's something that I gotta tell your ass"

I said "What is it, another nigga? It's ok"

She said "No I forgot to tell you, that I got AIDS"

I got up out

[Denaun:] Hey, Maxine
[Maxine:] What
[Denaun:] You thinking about sucking my dick?
[Maxine:] Yeah for a small price
[Denaun:] For a small price? What you mean?
[Maxine:] You know, money nigga
[Denaun:] You don't need no damn money,

I can't give you no money anyways, I heard you got some shit.

[Maxine:] (laughing) What you, what you hear I got?
[Denaun:] AIDS
[Maxine:] (laughing) Who told you that bullshit?
[Denaun:] My nigga Kyu, he wouldn't lie
[Maxine:] Well if that's the case, Kyu got it then
[Denaun:] Oh for real, it's like that?
[Maxine:] (laughing) Well I ain't got shit,

so he ain't got shit, and if he do, he ain't get that shit from me,

I ain't fucking around with no 3rd nigga

[Denaun:] Fuck that, I ain't fucking with you
[Maxine:] No, see..
[Denaun:] You got that shit, I ain't gotta fuck with you
[Maxine:] Hold on, why it ain't even like that
[Denaun:] I want ya'll to get paid, fucking..
[Maxine:] (laughing as the phone hangs up)

_________________________________________________

"Open Mic"

(feat. Thyme)

Hey yo, what's up man? Hey, yo you been here all day man

Ya'll been here every weekend man,

I don't ever get a chance to rap first man!

That's cause you whack!

What?!? I ain't whack nigga, I got some raps for all ya'll

Nigga my raps fresh, I'ma bust my raps first,

you can bust yours after me if you want to

No no man, I'm going first,

I'm getting tired of everybody wanted to go first man

You always rap first,

I'm rapping I don't care what none of ya'll say,

I'm fresh, I'm fresh

[Thyme:]

Ayo, who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

Point him out man I wanna know

Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know

I said who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

Point him out bitch I wanna know

Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know

[Verse 1: Eminem]

I'll have you taken back to Christ when you sacrifice

The way you acting slice when I tear your back with knifes

Jacking life's of MC's, now I'm set to launch a plan

For blowing up the stage with illegal contraband

A stomped your man so unless you want what he got

You better set the mic down, I'm steaming like a teapot

I'll make the tea hot, people get in my face and ask

If I wanna battle, then I chase them in a Jason mask

It's an amazing task to battle with success

I never gave a fuck, now I give a fuck less

And in a slug fest I get physical like physicians

Invisible like magicians with mystical mic traditions

Wicked wizardry, like a sorcerer and no remorse for you

When I torture you throughout the course of my orchestra

So feel the force of my spiritual images

Slicing up an enemy's appendages till he hemorrhages

My skin itches every time a rapper recites

And when he's through with his verse, I'm all covered in flea bites

You wanna see fights I got a match for you

You couldn't flip shit playing in toilets with a spatula

[Chorus: Thyme]

Ayo, who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

Point him out man I wanna know

Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know

Ayo, who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

Point him out bitch I wanna know

Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know

[Verse 2: Eminem]

You bitches get a hysterectomy disrespecting me

You wanna feel the full effect of me, hand a tech to me

Intellectually superior, I'll make the whack wearier

Inferior, deterior rate, like bacteria

Materially, killing serially, clearly you'll see

How much in fear when u hear me you'll be

Shiver and shake, quiver and quake

Bite a rhyme and rip it off then stiffer and ache, whither and break

You slithering snake, gibbering fake, fibbering flake

I'll twist you into a different shape

And toss you in Michigan Lake, for fisherman sake

If this is a dream you'd wish you can wake

Every dis you can take, personal

We ain't friends trying to make amends

If you ain't ever stole a gate you can take a fence

I make intense masterpieces and smash to pieces

Your last releases, you bad diseases, that's the reason

I'm showing you the proper way to operate a mic

So pass it like a hot potato

I've never been less than clever and fresh

Severing flesh of fools who never impressed I can confess

[Chorus: Thyme]

Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

Point him out man I wanna know

Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know

Ayo, who the fuck passed you the mic man and said that you can flow?

Point him out bitch I wanna know

Who the fuck passed you the mic and then said that you can flow?

(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know

Whhhooo the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

Point him out!! I wanna know

Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

(scratched in) I wanna know, I wanna know

Ayo let me get that mic manÅ

Who the fuck passed you the mic and said that you can flow?

Who the fuck passed you the mic, who the fuck passed you the mic!!

I got the rhymes bitch, I'll kick that shit

_________________________________________________

"Never 2 Far"

Hey what up man?

What up dog?

Ya heard?

Chillen, cold as hell

Yes it is, hey Busta didn't come here did he?

No, hey look, you got fifteen cent?

Nah, I got just enough to get on the bus, I'm broke

We gotta go to the store alright man quick cause I'm short

Yeah, we gonna have enough time to go to the store?

Nah, look..

You should just, how much you got there?

I only got 75, I'm sure I got a dollar know what I mean..

Just throw it in there they ain't gonna know

You know what look, I'm sick of taking this damn bus everywhere man

You gotta make some moves or something

I know look, I'm trying to get rich,

I got a baby on the way, I don't even got a car,

you know what I'm saying?

I still stay with my moms, 21 and still with my moms

Look hey, we gotta make some hit records or something,

you know what I'm saying? Cause I'm tired of being broke

[Verse 1:]

Cause all I do is yearn a life without a concern

And dream of having a turn to earn money to burn

Mapping out my strategies to get rich huh

My desire is like a scratch that needs to get itched huh

Cause man I live in the D, this shit ain't given for free

Nothing's different to me, so what, it's easy to see

I'll be the prisoner to flee, all of this misery

I'm not wishing to be another fish in the sea

But just an MC, so listen to me, but if you disagree

You missing the key, you ain't even in the brisk of the tea

Unconditionally my aspects to cash checks

My objects were never to swab decks

It's up to you the decision is yours

If what you vision is tours, or a mission less course

When shit is in the stores, cause you can be a star

[Chorus:]

No matter wherever you are, you're never too far

From revenue huh, cause you can be king

You can rule the world, you can do anything

It's on you baby, cause you can be a star

No matter wherever you are, you're never too far

From revenue huh, cause you can be king

You can rule the world, you can do anything

It's on you baby, cause you can be a star

No matter wherever you are, you're never too far

From revenue huh

You know what I'm saying, see what I'm talking about man?

Cause that's it

Yeah

A million dollars ain't even that far away man

Yo we got to get the money man, I can't be broke for the rest of my life

Yeah I hear what your saying,

look there's got to be something better, you know what I'm saying?

I can't live like this for the rest of my life man,

bumming rides everywhere I go

Yeah, what's up with Lexus' and Land cruisers'?

[Verse 2:]

Yo I'm not about to chance it and dismiss handling business

I'm canceling Christmas to gamble and risk this

Financial interest is the matter at hand

I got an adequate plan for stab at a grand

I grab what I can and do what I must

Pursue what I lust, it's true that I just choose

The few that I trust, thems the people that I still got

Fuck with gangsta fill pot, get your grill shot

The 5 Elemantz for life my man Thyme

Proof, Kyu and Denaun, we move through into time

My crews true and divine, we never fronted

We just wanted to be funded, and live to be a hundred

Instead of hunted or being wanted as fugitives

It's all about a man planning what his future is

What he can do for his to be a star

[Chorus:]

No matter wherever you are, you're never too far

From revenue huh, cause you can be king

You can rule the world, you can do anything

It's on you baby, cause you can be a star

No matter wherever you are, you're never too far

From revenue huh, cause you can be king

You can rule the world, you can do anything

It's on you baby, cause you can be a star

No matter wherever you are, you're never too far

From revenue huh

That's what I'm talking about, I'm not trying to be the player,

I'm trying to be the man, I'm want to be President

Yo forgot that President man I'm trying to be king,

making dead presidents, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah

Getting money anytime I want owning my own businesses and all that,

you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I'm trying to be a millionare man, hahaha, but don't all you know

You only live once

ninety six baby

_________________________________________________

"Searchin'"
(feat. Danaun Porter)

[Women Singing:]

Ain't no one special, special like you [4X]

I been searching, but your the one I want in my life baby [4X]

[Verse 1: Eminem]

I'm reminiscing on your tenderness and the snuggling and teasing

Missing what I remember, kissing and hugging and squeezing

Bugging and weezing, I'm having trouble when breathing

It's even tougher when sleeping

But there's a couple of reasons that I'm suffering and grieving

For loving and leaving, you all I'm thinking of in the evening

You got my knees buckling and weakening

Thoughts of nothing but freaking that I'm struggling to keep in

And interrupt when I'm speaking

I got some game that I'm preparing to run

The way your lips sparkle and glare in the sun

You got your hair in a bun, no matter what you're wearing you stun

Cause your comparing to none, I wanna share in the fun

I feel a passionate lust when I'm imagining just us alone at last with a

touch

I see you grasping to trust, but my intentions are good

The seed is passing in dust

I'm not asking to rush and answer immediately

I just wanna be there for you and you to be there for me

If you agree to repeat after me, I Love You (I love you baby)

Cause I just need you to see, how much I'm eager to be

Your man legally wed, your love's keeping me fed

This is easily said, so you can lead or be led

If you care to be down cause ain't nobody Like you no where to be found

[Chorus:]
[Women Singing:]

I been searching, but your the one I want in my life baby [4X]

[Verse 2: Denaun Porter]

Baby it's all on you, it's you I call on boo

Let's set a day up so you can fall on through

We'll take a spin in a Lexus you can chill for dinner and breakfast

Long enough to see how this gentleman sex'es

We'll start it out with caviar, Don Parigne

And then when it's a fact we are warm, carry on

We'll take it slow, see nobody will hurry things

I got the herbs the Bacardi and Hurricane

If Daiquiris are in debate and not your thing that day

It's still all right cause I got Minute Maid and Tangeray

Your an incredible one that's rare, in bed with edible underwear

You look impeccable, nothing compares

I dream of freaking you, the women that will speak it too so

It seems that there is not an end to things that we can do so

Now we all set to play, only thing left to say is

When you step away, baby but don't forget the Neglicie

[Chorus:]
[Women Singing:]

I been searching, but your the one I want in my life baby [8X]

Ain't no one special, special like you [2X]

_________________________________________________

"Backstabber"

[Police voice:]

Attention all units, attention all units

We have an All Points Bulletin out on a man with green hair

I repeat, we have an APB on a man with green hair

He's armed with a knife, I repeat, he's armed with a knife

Proceed with caution, watch your back fella's

He could be coming at your girlfriend next

[Verse 1:]

There's a joker on the loose from the psychiatric ward

His face is up on the bulletin board with a reward

He'll stab you with a sword don't be fooled by his charm

He's probably armed with intent to do bodily harm

Ring the alarm, look for a man with green hair

Check at your girl's house, he was last seen there

He's has a mean stare but usually crack's jokes

Good luck on your mission and guard your backs folks

[Chorus:]

I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Stay away from him he ain't no good!

[Verse 2:]

We got the walkie-talkies to keep us all informed

Suited up head to toe in detective uniforms

Our unit storms in, we split the ghetto in sectors

Locking down every block and put up metal detectors

Protectors and be sure that you stand close

Watch each others backs and guard your command post

And most of all be advised that he's wise

He could be disguised as one of your very own guys

[Chorus:]

I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Stay away from him he ain't no good!

[Verse 3:]

I'm on a solo mission to find him personally

To settle the score and beat then him mercifully

For what he first did to me

It's sure to be the last

Following footprints with a magnifying glass

To drag his lying ass back to his padded cell

I'm mad as hell, on the trail of the tattle tail

I heard a yell the voice sounded familiar

"Give me your girlfriend or I'm gonna kill ya"

[Chorus:]

I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Stay away from him he ain't no good!

[Verse 4:]

I followed the voice that led down a flight of steps

Sneezing at dust, and swinging at the spider-webs

Inside the depths of his basement

I taste lint in my mouth, then the lights in the place went!

I saw my life flash in front of my eyes

I felt a butcher knife slash at one of my thighs

None of my guys knew where I'm at I was doomed

Then I remembered the flashlight in my costume

[Chorus:]

I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Stay away from him he ain't no good!

[Verse 5:]

Dealing with backstabber's there was one thing I learned

They're only powerful when you got your back turned

I yearned for the day that we finally met again

So I can give him a taste of his own medicine

He shed his skin, then he promised to come clean

I took his butcher knife and jabbed it into his spleen

Cut him at the seam then dragged the fella home

Beating him over the head with the telephone

[Police voice:]

Attention all cars, attention all cars

Unit 313 has apprehended the suspect

He's going back to the crazy home, I repeat

He's going back to the crazy home, how about that?

[Chorus:]

I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Stay away from him he ain't no good!

I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Stay away from him he ain't no good!

I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Hit a bitch snake from the back, I make you think you're a backstabber

Why I oughtta

Stay away from him he ain't no good!

_________________________________________________

"Jealousy Woes II"

[Men singing:]

Jealous! [8X]

[Girls voice: (Talking over the singing)]

Jealous!?! What he mean jealous, know what I'm saying?

He just mad cause he got with some ugly hoes, know what I'm saying?

Girls don't buy him no clothes, He bought that ho some clothes!!

He don't buy me no clothes, Nigga ain't got no money, no vibe, no dick

I mean, What do I got to be jealous for?

He ain't gonna make it no where, he ain't got no type of time

He has no career move, I mean...

[Verse 1:]

I come home every single day from working double shifts

And stop along the way to pick you up a couple gifts

I come inside and you pretend you miss me when you kiss me

Then you diss me and we strenuously fight continuously

Again you frisk me, for numbers trying to bust me

It must be only just because you never learned to trust me

Plus we only grovel only irrelevant issues

To many tissues, for my feelings you misuse

I buy you jewelry, you make a fool of me

I bring you diamond rings you say I'm bad at timing things

So what's a man to do when all i hand to you is handed back to me

You act to be this gangsta bitch, that ain't what first attracted me

I used to love your company now you always bugging me

For information and you tell your friends you plan on dumping me

So I'ma wait for your evacuation

Cause every accusation makes me wanna smack your face in

See I've never been so sure, and your just insecure

So my solution to your jealousy presents a cure

I recommend you take your things and check them in

Look at the nervous wreck I'm in, I need my second wind, Say What?

[Chorus: Men Singing]

Jealous, Jealousy, Jealousy [8X]

[Women's Voice: (Talking over singing)]

Fuck you and what you going through

Fuck Eminem, he just mad cause I left that nigga for another man

Me and Eminem don't need nothing but my and his money

Immature, Me? Nigga ain't got no dick, no swang in his thang

Know what I'm saying? He just mad cause I'm getting it all night

Jealous of me, know what I'm saying? That's what I'm talking about

Mother fucker just trying to get his pussy

[Verse 2:]

I used to be a puppet and a sucker for your silent treatments

I used to be intoxicated with your sweet sense

Until the day I started following your feetprints

And tapping in your phone conversations through the heat vents

It made complete sense, there's someone else you like

So I confronted you and asked you who was Mike?

And you was like, (sampled) **I need a new nigga**

Someone rich that I could follow

And you'll be over me by the time you see tomorrow

Leaving me in sorrow, Brandy never felt so broken hearted

I fell apart when you departed then the joking started

I was an open target, you play comedian

And I became the laughing stock. but now I'm on my feet again

And so we meet again, your acting like an ex-wife

All in my sex life, I got a message from Phife

He goes, "You didn't want me to see you then, I don't want you now"

Take a towel, wipe your brow, quit trying to hunt me down

You run me down and now your trying to apologize

For all the lies and everytime you made me ball my eyes

Because I got a bigger wallet size, you wanna swing it

Jealousy is in the house ya'll, Fellas sing it...

[Chorus: Men Singing]

Jealous, Jealousy, Jealousy [12X]

_________________________________________________

"Low, Down, Dirty"

Warning, this shit's gon be rated R, restricted

You see this bullet hole in my neck? It's self inflicted

Doctor slapped my momma, "Bitch you got a sick kid"

Arrested, molested myself and got convicted

Wearing visors, sunglasses and disguises

Cause my split personality is having an identity crisis

I'm Dr. Hyde and Mr. Jekyll, disrespectful

Hearing voices in my head while these whispers echo

"Murder Murder Redrum"

Brain size of a bread crumb

Which drug will I end up dead from

Inebriated, till my stress is eleviated

"How in the fuck can Eminem and shady be related?"

Illiterate, illigitimate shit spitter

Bitch getter, hid in the bush like Margot Kidder

Jumped out (Ahhhh!) killed the bitch and did her

Use to let the babysitter suck my dick when I was little'er

Smoke a blunt while I'm titty fuckin Bette Midler

Sniper, waiting on your roof like the Fiddler

Y'all thought I was gonna rhyme with Riddler

Didn't Ya? Bring your bitch I wanna see if this dick gon' fit in her

[Chorus: Eminem + (Redman Sample) - 2X]
[E] I'm low down and I'm shiftee!

"And if you hear a man that sounds like me smack him

and ask him where the fuck did he get his damn raps from.."

I lace tunes, I'm out this world like Space Moons

With a bunch crazed loons dismissin brains like braze wounds

Nothing but idiots and misfits, dipshits

Doing whippits, passed out like Sanford snippits

Where's the weed, I wanna tamper with it

I'ma let your grandpa hit it

Mix it up with cocaine so her can't forget it

Fuck it, maybe I'm a bum

But I was put on this earth to make your baby mama cum

So what I'm on is way beyond the bomb or any alcoholic beverage

Losing all of my leverage

Went up inside the First National Bank broke, and left rich

Walking bio-hazard causing wreckage

Smoked out like Eckridge

Band just making my neck itch

What the fuck? Gimme the tech bitch

You just lost your tip, there's a pubic hair in my breakfast

Got shit popping off like bottle cap tips

Get your cap peeled like the dead skin of your mama's chapped lips

Slap hips, support domestic violence

Beat your bitches ass while your kids stare in silence

I'm just joking, is Dirty Dozen's really dust smoking?

If all your shit's missing, than probably one of us broke in

[Chorus]

My head's ringing, like it was Spider Sense tingling

Lit it like Green Bay did when they shitted on New England

I'm out the game, put the second string in

This Brandy got my swinging

Bobbing back and forth like a penguin

Delinquent, toking microphones with Broken English

Make your mama be like "Ohh! This is good! Who sing this?"

"Slim Shady, his tape is dope, I love it

It's rugged, but he needs to quit talking all that drug shit."

It was predicted by a medic

I'd grow to be an addicted diabetic

Living off liquid Triametic

Pathetic, but I don't think this headache's ever vanishing

Panicing, I think I might have just took too much Anasin

Frozen Manaquin, posted stiffer than a statue

I think I'm dying, God is that you?

Somebody help me, before I OD on an LP

Take me to ER ASAP for and IV

Motherfuck JLB, they don't support no hip hop

They say that's where it ends, the closest they gon come is Tupac

It's politics, it's all a fix

Setup by these white blue collared hicks

Just to make a dollar off of black music

With a subliminal ball of tricks

But those can kiss ass and swallow dicks

[Chorus]

_________________________________________________

"If I Had..."

Life.. by Marshall Mathers

What is life?

Life is like a big obstacle

put in front of your optical to slow you down

And everytime you think you gotten past it

it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground

What are friends?

Friends are people that you think are your friends

But they really your enemies, with secret indentities

and disguises, to hide they true colors

So just when you think you close enough to be brothers

they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin

What is money?

Money is what makes a man act funny

Money is the root of all evil

Money'll make them same friends come back around

swearing that they was always down

What is life?

I'm tired of life

I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins

I'm tired of committing so many sins

Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins

Tired of never having any ends

Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins

I'm tired of this DJ playing YOUR shit when he spins

Tired of not having a deal

Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel

Tired of drowning in my sorrow

Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo

I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin off

I'm tired of jobs startin off at five fifty an hour

then this boss wanders why I'm smartin off

I'm tired of being fired everytime I fart and cough

Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk

for this jerk breathing down my neck driving me bezerk

I'm tired of using plastic silverware

Tired of working in Building Square

Tired of not being a millionaire

But if I had a million dollars

I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics

If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick

without a condom on, while I'm on the john

If I had a million bucks

it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out

robbing armored trucks

If I had one wish

I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor

Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store

I'm tired of not having a phone

Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have it on

Tired of not driving a BM

Tired of not working at GM, tired of wanting to be him

Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM

Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum

Tired of not being on tour

Tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work

in the back of a Contour

I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones

Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns

Tired of being stared at

I'm tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat

Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz

Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs

Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin half the skill as me

saying they wasn't feeling me on "Nobody's As Ill As Me"

I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs

Tired of J-L-B saying "Where Hip-Hop Lives"

But if I had a million dollars

I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics

If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick

without a condom on, while I'm on the john

If I had a million bucks

it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out

robbing armored trucks

If I had one wish

I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

You know what I'm saying?

I'm tired of all of this bullshit

Telling me to be positive

How'm I 'sposed to be positive when I don't see shit positive?

Know what I'm sayin?

I rap about shit around me, shit I see

Know what I'm sayin? Right now I'm tired of everything

Tired of all this player hating that's going on in my own city

Can't get no airplay, you know what I'm sayin?

But ey, it's cool though, you know what I'm sayin?

Just fed up

That's my word

_________________________________________________

"Just Don't Give A Fuck"

[Intro: Frogg]

Whoah!

A get your hands in the air, and get to clappin 'em

and like, back and forth because ah

this is.. what you thought it wasn't

It beez.. the brothers representin' the Dirty Dozen

I be the F-R-O the double G *coughing in background*

And check out the man he goes by the name of er...

[Verse One: Eminem]

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jim Brady

I'm a M80, you Lil' like that Kim lady

I'm buzzin, Dirty Dozen, naughty rotten rhymer

Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer

You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from

You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album

Admit it, fuck it, while we coming out in the open

I'm doing acid, crack, smack, coke and smocking dope then

My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic (Hi Marshall)

I have a disease and they don't know what to call it

Better hide your wallet cause I'm coming up quick to strip your cash

Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass

Bitch, I'm coming out swinging, so fast it'll make your eyes spin

You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson

The +Proof+ is in the puddin, just ask the Deshaun Holton

I'll slit your motherfucking throat worse than Ron Goldman

[Chorus:]

So when you see me on your block with two glocks

Screaming _Fuck the World_ like Tupac

I just don't give a fuck!!

Talking that shit behind my back, dirty mackin

telling your boys that I'm on crack

I just don't give a fuck!!

So put my tape back on the rack

Go run and tell your friends my shit is wack

I just don't give a fuck!!

But see me on the street and duck

Cause you gon' get stuck, stoned, and snuffed

Cause I just don't give a fuck!!

[Verse Two: Eminem]

I'm Nicer than Pete, but I'm on a Search to crush a Miilkbone

I'm Everlast-ing, I melt Vanilla Ice like silicone

I'm ill enough to just straight up diss you for no reason

I'm colder than snow season when it's twenty below friezing

Flavor with no seasoning, this is the sneak preview

I'll diss your magazine and still won't get a weak review

I'll make your freak leave you, smell the Folgers crystals

This is a lyrical combat, gentlemen hold your pistols

But I form like Voltron and blast you with my shoulder missiles

Slim Shady, Eminem was the old initials (Bye-bye!)

Extortion, snorting, supporting abortion

Pathological liar, blowing shit out of proportion

The looniest, zaniest, spontaneous, sporadic

Impulsive thinker, compulsive drinker, addict

Half animal, half man

Dumping your dead body inside of a fucking trash can

With more holes than an Afghan

[Chorus]

[Verse Three: Eminem]

Somebody let me out this limousine (hey, let me out!)

I'm a caged demon, on stage screaming like Rage Against the Machine

I'm convinced I'm a fiend, shootin up while this record is spinning

Clinically brain dead, I don't need a second opinion

Fuck droppin the jewel, I'm flippin the sacred treasure

I'll bite your motherfucking style, just to make it fresher

I can't take the pressure, I'm sick of bitches

Sick of naggin bosses bitchin while I'm washing dishes

In school I never said much, too busy having a headrush

Doing too much rush had my face flushed like red blush

Then I went to Jim Beam, that's when my face grayed

Went to gym in eighth grade, raped the women's swim team

Don't take me for a joke I'm no comedian

Too many mental problems got me snorting coke and smocking

weed again

I'm going up over the curb, driving on the median

Finally made it home, but I don't got the key to get in

[Chorus]

[Outro: Eminem]

Hey, fuck that!

Outsidaz..

Pace One..

Young Zee..

_________________________________________________

"Just The Two Of Us"

Just the two of us.. [8X]

[Eminem]

Baby your da-da loves you (hey)

And I'ma always be here for you (hey) no matter what happens

You're all I got in this world

I would never give you up for nothin

Nobody in this world is ever gonna keep you from me

I love you

C'mon Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach

Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat

Oh where's mama? She's takin a little nap in the trunk

Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk

Now I know what you're thinkin - it's kind of late to go swimmin

But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women

that do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit

Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)

And don't look so upset, why you actin bashful?

Don't you wanna help da-da build a sand castle? (yeah!)

And mama said she wants to show how far she can float

And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat

It's just a little scratch - it don't hurt, her was eatin

dinner while you were sweepin and spilled ketchup on her shirt

Mama's messy isn't she? We'll let her wash off in the water

and me and you can pway by ourselves, can't we?

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

See honey.. there's a place called heaven and a place called hell

A place called prison and a place called jail

And da-da's probably on his way to all of em except one

Cause mama's got a new husband and a stepson

And you don't want a brother do ya? (Nah)

Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better

I'll explain it to ya

But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad

She was bein mean to dad and made him real real mad

But I still feel sad that I put her on time-out

Sit back in your chair honey, quit tryin to climb out (WAHH!)

I told you it's okay HaiHai, wanna ba-ba?

Take a night-night? Nan-a-boo, goo-goo ga-ga?

Her make goo-goo ca-ca? Da-da change your dia-dee

Clean the baby up so her can take a nighty-nighty

Your dad'll wake her up as soon as we get to the water

Ninety-seven Bonnie and Clyde, me and my daughter

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

Wake up sweepy head we're here, before we pway

we're gonna take mama for a wittle walk along the pier

Baby, don't cry honey, don't get the wrong idea

Mama's too sweepy to hear you screamin in her ear (ma-maa!)

That's why you can't get her to wake, but don't worry

Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake

Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock? (yeah!)

We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock

Ready now, here we go, on the count of free..

One.. two.. free.. WHEEEEEE! (whoooooshhhhh)

There goes mama, spwashin in the wa-ta

No more fightin wit dad, no more restraining order

No more step-da-da, no more new brother

Blow her kisses bye-bye, tell mama you love her (mommy!)

Now we'll go play in the sand, build a castle and junk

But first, just help dad with two more things out the trunk

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. [4X]

[Eminem]

Just me and you baby

is all we need in this world

Just me and you

Your da-da will always be there for you

Your da-da's always gonna love you

Remember that

If you ever need me I will always be here for you

If you ever need anything, just ASK

Da-da will be right there

Your da-da loves you

I love you baby

_________________________________________________

"No One's Iller Than Me"

(feat. Swift, Bizarre & Fuzz)

[Bizarre]

Yeah...ha ha ha (BANG!), Yeah, Bizarre Kid comin' at you

Eminem and Fuzz, and Mr. Swifty, ha ha

No one's iller than me (wha?)

No one, no one is iller than me

No one is iller than me

It's Mr. Swifty from the 313...

[Swift]

I make rappers wanna turn into singers

I keep hoes lickin' they fingers

Bring this competition and face this meanin'

Got your whole crew doing subpeonas

Hell nah you ain't seen a crew genius

Murder whoever's between us, pack your heaters

Keep it close, you can't beat us

While your whole crew treat us like G's, you best believe this

I done made quadrapalegics outta these non-rappin rejects

While the whole world ejects your tape, it ain't no secret

That your shit sounds fake, you can't stop it my mind state

Makes it too late for cops in tryin' to stop the crime rate

I'm like Two-Face, I'm painful to rappers then you can tell

From these shells, how I gotta bend 'em like route canals

I erase all trails, somethin' farther from gettin' bail

Makes you wanna kill an emcee yourself, you might as well

Be within a 25 to life sentence, on linkin' trials

Horrified, and keep on frontin', repentin' and lose they bowels

Everything is foul when Swift's around, vacate now

Niggas dumb enough to try to front and escape, how?

I'm gonna take this 'gnac and drink it straight wild

Niggas steady fallin' in my face like milk crates, BLAAAOW!

It's Swifty from the 313

Like I said no one is iller than me, unnhh!

[Bizarre]

Me and Eminem and Mike

Drivin' down Van Dyke

Get my dick sucked late at night by a fuckin' transvestite

Still on probation for stranglin' my boy Jason

Should be takin' my medication, it's 9 to 10 I'm facin'

Last week this old man I had to blast

Cuz he tried to help me out when my car was out of gas

Ripped this old lady, hung her neck by a hook

Didn't realize it was my grandmother 'til I checked her pocketbook

Fuckin' with the white boys got me back on crack

Better explain where the hell your TVs and VCRs is at

I done lost 100 pounds, I ain't been eatin' like I should

This wounded dog in the street is sure lookin' good!

Rob this little boy in his fuckin' paper route

Throwin' bottles at day care centers and yell "EVERYBODY GET OUT"!

My girl beat my ass and shot me in the back with a 2-piece

Cuz she found out I was havin' an affair with her 10-year old niece

No one, no one's iller than me

It's Bizarre Kid straight from the 313

No one, no one is iller than me

It's Bizarre Kid straight from the 313

[Eminem]

Nobody better test me, cuz I don't wanna get messy

Especially when I step inside this bitch, dick freshly

New Lugz, give the crew hugs, guzzle two mugs

Before I do drugs that make me throw up like flu bugs

True thugs, rugged unshaven messy scrubs

Whippin' 40-bottles like the fuckin' Pepsi clubs

Down a fifth, crack open a six

I'm on my seventh 8-ball, now I gotta take a piss

I'm hollerin' at these hoes that got boyfriends

Who gives a fuck who they was

I'm always takin' someone else's girl like Cool J does

They probably don't be packin' anyways, do they Fuzz?

We walked up, stomped they asses and blew they buzz

Mics get sandblasted

Stab your abdomen with a hand crafted pocketknife and spill your antacid

Sprayed your motherfuckin' crib up when I ran past it

Fuckin' felon, headed to hell in a handbasket

Talkin' shit will get you, your girl and your man blasted

Kidnapped and slapped in a van wrapped in Saran plastic

Get your damn ass kicked, by these fantastic

Furious four motherfuckers

Flashin' in front of your face without the Grand Masters

Slim Shady, ain't nobody iller than me

[Fuzz]

I run shit like an ass with legs

Massive lead to leave your cabbage red

Similar to your ass in a casket dead

Drastic spread of acid heads

Come to abort you like a bastard egg

That trash you said got you standin' on plastic legs

Ask the feds from past the edge

Rockin' the most classic threads

Flashin' bread, roll down the window

Bitch you got some fantastic legs, you can get 'til that ass get red

You can get 'til that ass get red

Bizarre you get him and him, Swift you get him and him

I'll get him and him, leave the other two for my nigga Eminem

Never writer's block, I block writers

My block's tighter, ante up and get your top fighters

Got fired for jumpin' the counter with a mop stick

Some bitch ran up screamin' GET THE COPS QUICK!

And got drop kicked, now she screamin' "Stop it..."

Got clips to stop shit, rock shit and grab this hot shit

Wherever you shop bitch, Fuzz Scooter '97 crop pick

Sick a-ya'll niggaz lookin' at me like I got tits

I shoot a rocket through your optic

You niggaz still don't know the top pick?

I got bricks, lose my foot in your ass

And have you shittin' socks bitch!

We rock shit, leave your fuckin' knot split

Grab the green from Al by showin' him hot grits

(No one...)

Ain't nobody iller than me

[Bizzare]

It's the Mr. Fuzzy from the 313

No one, no one is iller than me

It's Eminem and Swift from the 313

No one, no one is iller than me

It's Fuzz and Buzz-arre from the 313

You have now witnessed 4 ill emcees!

From the home of potholes and trash

We'll lyrically blast...

_________________________________________________

"Murder Murder"

[CHORUS]

All I see is murder murder, my mind state - [2Pac]

Makes it too late for cops in tryin' to stop the crime rate - [Swift]

All I see is murder murder, my mind state

Murder, murder, murder, and kill, kill, kill!

[2x]

Left the keys in the van, with a gat in each hand

Went up in Eastland and shot a policeman

Fuck a peace plan of citizen bystands

But shit is in my hands, here's your life span

For what your life's worth this money is twice than

Grab a couple grand and live a nice land

See I'm a nice man but money turned me to Satan

I'm thirsty for this green so bad I'm dehydratin'

Hurry up with the cash bitch, I got a ride waitin'

Shot a man twice in the back when he tried escapin'

I want the whole pie, I won't be denied nathan

Maybe I need my head inside straightened

Brain contemplatin', clean out the register

Dip before somebody catches ya

Or gets ya description an' sketches ya

The connection was the prime suspect

But I ain't set to flee the scene of the crime just yet

Cuz I got a daughter to feed

And $200 ain't enough to water the seed

The best thing would be for me to leave Taco Bell an' hit up Chess King

And have the lady at the desk bring

Money from the safe in the back, stepped in wavin' the Mac

Cooperate and we can operate and save an attack

This bitch tried escapin' the jack

Grabbed her by the throat, it's murder she wrote

You barely heard a word as she choked

It wasn't nuttin' for her to be smoked

But I slammed her on her back 'til her vertebrae broke

Just then the pigs bust in yellin' "Freeze!"

But I'm already wanted for sellin' keys

And bunch of other felonies from A to Z like spellin' bees

So before I dropped to the ground and fell on knees

I bust shots, they bust back

Hit the square in the chest, he wasn't wearin' a vest

[CHORUS 2x]

Left the house, pullin' out the drive backin' out

Need a backin' out this lady's Jag started blackin' out

Pulled the Mac-10 out, stuck it in her face

Shut ya yackin' mouth before I blow the brain from out the back ya scalp

Drug her by her hair, smacked her up

Thinkin' fuck it, mug her while you're there, jacked her up

Stole her car, made a profit

Grabbed the tape from out the deck and offed it out the window

Like the girl on Set It Off did

Jetted off kid, stole the whip, now I'm a criminal

Drove in thru somebody's yard, dove into they swimmin' pool

Climbed out and collapsed on the patio

I made it out alive but I'm injured badly though

Parents screamin': "Son, go in and call the police

Tell 'em there's a crazy man disturbing all of the peace!"

Tried to stall him at least long enough to let me leap up

Run in they crib and at least leave with some little cheap stuff

Actin' like they never seen nobody hit a nick before

Smashed the window, grabbed the Nintendo 64

When they sell out in stores the price triples

I ran up the block jumpin' kids on tricycles

And colliding with an 80-year old lady with groceries

There goes the cheese, eggs, milk and Post Toasties

Stood up and started to see stars

Too many siren sounds, it seemed like a thousand police cars

Barely escaped, must-a been some dumb luck

Jumped up and climbed the back of a movin' dump truck

But I think somebody seen me maybe

Plus I lost the damn Nintendo and I must-a dropped the Beanie Baby

Fuck it I give up, I'm surrounded in blue suits

Came out with a white flag hollerin' "TRUCE TRUCE!"

Surrendered my weapon to cops

Wasn't me! It was the gangsta rap and the peppermint Schnopps

[CHORUS 2x ]

[CHORUS scratches to fade out]

_________________________________________________

"Public Service Announcement (Skit)"

[Announcer]

This is a public service announcement brought to you in part by Slim Shady

The views and events expressed here are totally fucked

and are not necessarily the views of anyone

However, the events and suggestions that appear on this album

are NOT to be taken lightly

Children should NOT partake in the listening in this album

with laces in their shoes

Slim Shady is not responsible for your actions

Upon purchasing this album, you have agreed NOT to try this at home

[Announcer - To Eminem]

Em, Anything else?

[Eminem]

Yeah, don't do drugs

_________________________________________________

"My Name Is"

[Chorus: x2]

Hi! My name is... (what?) My name is... (who?)

My name is... [scratches] Slim Shady

Hi! My name is... (huh?) My name is... (what?)

My name is... [scratches] Slim Shady

Ahem... excuse me!

Can I have the attention of the class for one second?

[Eminem:]

Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)

Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)

Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)

Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)

My brain's dead weight, I'm trying to get my head straight

But I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm...)

And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"

Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"

Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else

Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt

Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off

And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross

I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass

Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast

C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)

I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!

[Chorus]

[Eminem:]

My English teacher wanted to flunk me in Junior High

Thank a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five

I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler

And stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!)

Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up

Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in her tip cup

Extraterrestrial runnin' over pedestrians

In a spaceship while they screaming at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"

Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to

I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (Damn!)

I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper

Make a record about doing drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)

You know you blew up when the women rush your stands

And try to touch your hands like some screaming Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)

This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph

(Dude, can I get your autograph?)

So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!'

[Chorus]

[Eminem:]

Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)

Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!

I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Fuck that!)

I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive (Huh yup!)

Am I coming or going? I can barely decide

I just drank a fifth of vodka - dare me to drive? (Go ahead)

All my life I was very deprived

I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide (Whoops!)

Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)

I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere)

When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits

How you gonna breast feed me mom? (Wah!)

You ain't got no tits! (Wahhh!)

I lay awake and strap myself in the bed

With a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)

I'm steaming mad (Arrrggghhh!)

And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)

Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had

[Chorus]

_________________________________________________

"Guilty Conscience"

(feat. Dr. Dre)

[sound of static]

[announcer]

Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.

Fed up with life and the way things are going,

he decides to rob a liquor store.

("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")

But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.

And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...

("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")

[Dr. Dre]

Alright, stop! (Huh?)

Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store

and try to get money out the drawer

You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)

I'm your motherfuckin conscience

[Eminem]

That's nonsense!

Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs

And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs

Tell her you need a place to stay

You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with Renee's razor blade

[Dr. Dre]

Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to

The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you

Think about it before you walk in the door first

Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns

[Eminem]

Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!

Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?

Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?

Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?

[Dr. Dre]

Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)

Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)

Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you

(You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..)

[sound of static]

("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute")

("Mmm, I don't know!")

("Look baby..")

("Damn!")

("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?")

("Well OK..")

[announcer]

Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!")

After meeting a young girl at a rave party,

things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.

Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!")

[Eminem]

Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek

and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink

Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..

(Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old

You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair)

Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!)

Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare

Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there

(Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?)

No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!

(Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)

Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..

[sound of static]
[pickup idling, radio playing]

[announcer]

Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.

After coming home from a hard day's work,

he walks in the door of his trailer park home

to find his wife in bed with another man.

("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!")

("Grady!!")

[Dr. Dre]

Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..

[Eminem]

Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin

While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?!

FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!

[Dr. Dre]

Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?

(What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!)

Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady

But think about the baby before you get all crazy

[Eminem]

Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?

Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?

That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard

You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!

[Dr. Dre]

What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?)

I'ma kill you motherfucker!

[Eminem]

Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!

Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?

Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way?

How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?

[Dr. Dre]

Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went

Been there, done that.. aw fuck it...

What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?

[gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired]

_________________________________________________

"Brain Damage"

[Doctor] Scalpel

[Nurse] Here

[Doctor] Sponge

[Nurse] Here
[Doctor] Wait.. he's convulsing, he's convulsing!
[Nurse] Ah!
[Doctor] We're gonna have to shock him!
[Nurse] Oh my! Oh my God!
[Doctor] We're gonna have to shock him!
[Nurse] Oh my God!

[Eminem]

These are the results of a thousand electric volts

A neck with bolts, "Nurse we're losin him, check the pulse!"

A kid who refused to respect adults

Wore spectacles with taped frames and a freckled nose

A corny lookin white boy, scrawny and always ornery

Cause I was always sick of brawny bullies pickin on me

And I might snap, one day just like that

I decided to strike back and flatten every tire on the bike rack

(Whosssssh) My first day in junior high, this kid said,

"It's you and I, three o'clock sharp this afternoon you die"

I looked at my watch it was one twenty

"I already gave you my lunch money what more do you want from me?!?"

He said, "Don't try to run from me, you'll just make it worse..."

My palms were sweaty, and I started to shake at first

Something told me, "Try to fake a stomach ache it works"

I screamed, "Owww! My appendix feels like they could burst!

Teacher, teacher, quick I need a naked nurse!"

[N] "What's the matter?"
[E] "I don't know, my leg, it hurts!"
[N] "Leg?!? I thought you said it was your tummy?!?"
[E] "Oh, I mean it is, but I also got a bum knee!"
[N] "Mr. Mathers, the fun and games are over.

And just for that stunt, you're gonna get some extra homework."

[E] "But don't you wanna give me after school detention?"
[N] "Nah, that bully wants to beat your ass and I'ma let him."

[Chorus: repeat 2X]

Brain damage, ever since the day I was born

Drugs is what they used to say I was on

They say I never knew which way I was goin

But everywhere I go they keep playin my song

[Eminem]

Brain damage..

Way before my baby daughter Hailey

I was harassed daily by this fat kid named D'Angelo Bailey

An eighth grader who acted obnoxious, cause his father boxes

so everyday he'd shove me in the lockers

One day he came in the bathroom while I was pissin

And had me in the position to beat me into submission

He banged my head against the urinal til he broke my nose,

Soaked my clothes in blood, grabbed me and choked my throat

I tried to plead and tell him, "We shouldn't beef"

But he just wouldn't leave, he kept chokin me and I couldn't breathe

He looked at me and said, "You gonna die honkey!"

The principal walked in (What's going on in here?)

and started helpin him stomp me

I made them think they beat me to death

Holdin my breath for like five minutes before they finally left

Then I got up and ran to the janitor's storage booth

Kicked the door hinge loose and ripped out the four inch screws

Grabbed some sharp objects, brooms, and foreign tools

"This is for every time you took my orange juice,

or stole my seat in the lunchroom and drank my chocolate milk.

Every time you tipped my tray and it dropped and spilt.

I'm gettin you back bully! Now once and for good."

I cocked the broomstick back and swung hard as I could

and beat him over the head with it til I broke the wood

Knocked him down, stood on his chest with one foot..

.. Made it home, later that same day

Started reading a comic, and suddenly everything became gray

I couldn't even see what I was tryin to read

I went deaf, and my left ear started to bleed

My mother started screamin, "What are you on, drugs?!?

Look at you, you're gettin blood all over my rug!" (Sorry!)

She beat me over the head with the remote control

opened a hole, and my whole brain fell out of my skull

I picked it up and screamed, "Look bitch, what have you done?!?"

[M] "Oh my God, I'm sorry son"
[E] "Shut up you cunt!" I said, "Fuck it!"

Took it and stuck it back up in my head

then I sewed it shut and put a couple of screws in my neck

[Chorus]

[Eminem]

Brain damage..

It's brain damage..

I got brain damage..

It's brain damage..

It's probably brain damage..

It's brain damage..

Brain damage..

I got brain damage..

_________________________________________________

"97 Bonnie And Clyde"

Just the two of us.. [8X]

[Eminem]

Baby your da-da loves you (hey)

And I'ma always be here for you (hey) no matter what happens

You're all I got in this world

I would never give you up for nothin

Nobody in this world is ever gonna keep you from me

I love you

C'mon Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach

Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat

Oh where's mama? She's takin a little nap in the trunk

Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk

Now I know what you're thinkin - it's kind of late to go swimmin

But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women

that do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit

Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)

And don't look so upset, why you actin bashful?

Don't you wanna help da-da build a sand castle? (yeah!)

And mama said she wants to show how far she can float

And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat

It's just a little scratch - it don't hurt, her was eatin

dinner while you were sweepin and spilled ketchup on her shirt

Mama's messy isn't she? We'll let her wash off in the water

and me and you can pway by ourselves, can't we?

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

See honey.. there's a place called heaven and a place called hell

A place called prison and a place called jail

And da-da's probably on his way to all of em except one

Cause mama's got a new husband and a stepson

And you don't want a brother do ya? (Nah)

Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better

I'll explain it to ya

But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad

She was bein mean to dad and made him real real mad

But I still feel sad that I put her on time-out

Sit back in your chair honey, quit tryin to climb out (WAHH!)

I told you it's okay HaiHai, wanna ba-ba?

Take a night-night? Nan-a-boo, goo-goo ga-ga?

Her make goo-goo ca-ca? Da-da change your dia-dee

Clean the baby up so her can take a nighty-nighty

Your dad'll wake her up as soon as we get to the water

Ninety-seven Bonnie and Clyde, me and my daughter

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

Wake up sweepy head we're here, before we pway

we're gonna take mama for a wittle walk along the pier

Baby, don't cry honey, don't get the wrong idea

Mama's too sweepy to hear you screamin in her ear (ma-maa!)

That's why you can't get her to wake, but don't worry

Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake

Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock? (yeah!)

We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock

Ready now, here we go, on the count of free..

One.. two.. free.. WHEEEEEE! (whoooooshhhhh)

There goes mama, spwashin in the wa-ta

No more fightin wit dad, no more restraining order

No more step-da-da, no more new brother

Blow her kisses bye-bye, tell mama you love her (mommy!)

Now we'll go play in the sand, build a castle and junk

But first, just help dad with two more things out the trunk

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

And when we ride!

Just the two of us.. [2X]

Just you and I!

Just the two of us.. [4X]

[Eminem]

Just me and you baby

is all we need in this world

Just me and you

Your da-da will always be there for you

Your da-da's always gonna love you

Remember that

If you ever need me I will always be here for you

If you ever need anything, just ASK

Da-da will be right there

Your da-da loves you

I love you baby

_________________________________________________

"Bitch (Skit)"

(feat. Zoe)

[Zoe on telephone]

Justin?

It's Zoe um

Kelly did not have me call however I just listened to Eminem in her car and

It is the most DISGUSTING, thing I have ever heard in my entire life

And I seriously wanna call his fucking agent

And tell him how FUCKING disgusting he is

It like makes me upset

I'm now nauseous and I can't eat lunch

Goodbye

_________________________________________________

"Role Model"

OK, I'm going to attempt to drown myself

You can try this at home

You can be just like me!

Mic check one two.. we recordin?

I'm cancerous, so when I diss you wouldn't wanna answer this

If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus

I strangled you to death then I choked you again

Then break your fuckin legs till your bones poke through your skin

You beef wit me, I'ma even the score equally

Take you on Jerry Springer, and beat yer ass legally

I get you blunted off of funny home grown

Cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono

(Ohh no!!) So if I said I never did drugs

That would mean I lie AND get fucked more than the President does

Hillary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert

I ripped her fuckin tonsils out and fed her sherbet (Bitch!)

My nerves hurt, and lately I'm on edge

Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blonde dreads (Fuck you!)

Every girl I ever went out wit is goin lez

Follow me and do exactly what the song says:

smoke weed, take pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink

And jump behind the wheel like it was still legal

I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal

So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill

Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin skill

Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill

But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist

How the fuck can I be white, I don't even exist

I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave

Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave

My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?

And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave?

Now follow me and do exactly what you see

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

I slap women and eat shrooms then O.D.

Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole

When we heard a knock at the door, must have been Ron Gold'

Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold

Killed em both and smeared blood in a white Bronco (we did it!)

My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk

I slapped Garth Brooks out of his Rhinestone shirt

I'm not a player just a ill rhyme sayer

That'll spray an Aerosol can up at the ozone layer (psssssssh)

My rap style's warped, I'm runnin out the morgue

witcha dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch

Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon wit a cape on

And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn

I'm bout as normal as Norman Bates, with deformative traits

A premature birth that was four minutes late

Mother.. are you there? I love you

I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel

Will someone explain to my brain that I just severed

a main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain?

I take a breather and sighed; either I'm high, or I'm nuts

Cause if you ain't tiltin this room, neither am I

So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass

Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her

Cause when I drop this solo shit it's over with

I bought Cage's tape, opened it, and dubbed over it

I came to the club drunk with a fake ID

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

I've been with 10 women who got HIV

Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

I got genital warts and it burns when I pee

Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree

You probably wanna grow up to be just like me!!!

_________________________________________________

"Lounge (Skit)"

[group singing slowly]

I never meant to...

Give you mushrooms girl

I never meant to...

Bring you to my world

And now you're lying

The corner cry-y-y-iiiiing

(wooh! yeah!)

_________________________________________________

"My Fault"

[Eminem does the voices of all characters in the song]

[G - Eminem as Susan (the girl)]

[D - Eminem as Dave]
[J - Eminem as John]

[Chorus: repeat 2X]

I never meant to give you mushrooms girl

I never meant to bring you to my world

Now you sitting in the corner crying

And now it's my fault my fault

[Eminem]

I went to John's rave with Ron and Dave

And met a new wave blonde babe with half of her head shaved

A nurse aid who came to get laid and tied up

with first aid tape and raped on the first date

Susan -- an ex-heroin addict who just stoped usin.was into bosse and

alternative music. told me she was about to use it agzin. I said wiat first

try this hallucionagin, its better than heroin and the the booze and the gin.

come here lets go in here. Who's in the den? (It's me and Kelly) my bad! lets

try another room "I don't trust you" shut up slut chew up this mushroom. this

will help you get in touch with your roots. We'll get bare-foot but naked and run

in the woods. "oh hell might as well try 'em this party is so drag." Oh dag I

didn't mean for you to eat the whole bag! (huh)

[Chorus:]
[1st repeat Em says "I'm sorry!" at the end]
[2nd repeat same as original Chorus]

"Yo Sue!"

[G] Get away from me, I don't know you

Oh shoot, she's tripping..

[G] I need to go puke!! (Bleahh!)

I wasn't tryin to turn this into somethin major

I just wanted to make you appreciate nature.

Susan stop crying i don't hate ya. the worlds not against you I'm sorry your

father raped ya. So what, you had your coochie in your dad's mouth. Thats no

reason to start wiggin and spaz out.

she said "Help me I think I'm having a seisure!"

I said "I'm high too (bitch) Quit grabbin my T-shirt (let go!)

Would you calm down you're startin to scare me.

she said " I'm twenty-six years old and I'm not married. I don't have any

kids and I can't cook"

I'm over here Sue, (hi) you're talkin to the plant, look!

We need to get to a hospital 'fore it's too late

Cause I never seen no-one eat as many shrooms as you ate.

[Chorus:]
[1st repeat Em says "Whoops!" after first line and "It was an accident!" at the end]
[2nd repeat same as original Chorus]

Susan (wait!) Where you goin? You better be careful

[G] Leave me alone dad, I'm sick of gettin my hair pulled

I'm not your dad, quit tryin to swallow your tongue

Want some gum? Put down the scissors, 'fore you do somethin dumb

I'll be right back just chill baby please?

I gotta go find Dave he's the one who gave me these.

"John, where's Dave at before I bash you?"

[J] He's in the bathroom; I think he's takin a crap dude!

"Dave! Pull up your pants, we need an ambulance

There's a girl upstairs talkin to plants

choppin her hair off, and there's only two days left

of Spring Break, how long do these things take to wear off?"

[D] Well it depends on how many you had? I took three she ate the other

twenty-two caps Now she's upstairs cryin out her eyeballs,drinking lysol.

"She's gonna die dude." I know and it's my fault!

My god!

[Chorus:]
[1st repeat Em says "I'm sorry!" after second line and "What do I do?" at the end]
[2nd repeat same as original Chorus]

My God, I'm so sorry!

I'm so sorry! Susan please wake up!

Please! Please wake up!! What are you doing?!

You're not dead!! You're NOT dead!

I know you're not dead!

_________________________________________________

"Ken Kaniff (Skit)"

[Ken Kaniff]

Call this motherfucker [dial tone]

Ohh fuck yeah

Give 'im a piece of my mind....

A piece of my ass

[Operator]

Thanks for waiting

This is [sound dipped]

May I help you?

[Ken Kaniff]

Oh thank you

I need to make a collect call

[Operator]

What number?

[Ken Kaniff]

Ohhh

The number's [sound dipped] 62 [sound dipped]

[Automated Operator]

At the tone, please say your name (beep)

[Ken Kaniff]

Kennith Kaniff....from Connecticut

Automated piece of shit

[phone rings, man answers - presumably supposed to be Eminem]

[Man] Yo
[Ken Kaniff] Hey there cockboy
[Man] Who's this?
[Ken Kaniff] This is Ken Kannif
[Man] Who?
[Ken Kaniff] Ken Kannif from Connecticut, ya little bitch
[Man] From Connecticut?
[Ken Kaniff] Yean you wanna get a...
[Man] I don't know nobody in Connecticut
[Ken Kaniff] You wanna get a hotel room with me?
[Man] A hotel room?
[Ken Kaniff] Yeah, you want me to lick your ass, EMINEM!?
[Man] Ha.. Yo, wh, who is this? Cage?
[Ken Kaniff] Hey, pa ha..

You want me ta fuckin melt in your mouth and not in your hand?

Melt in your ass, ya little cockboy

[Man] He k-k-k-k

Yo shut up you little bitch

[Ken Kaniff] Oh you think I'm lyin huh?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

_________________________________________________

"Cum On Everybody"

[Girl]

Hmm-hmm-hmhmhmmhm.. ahhh, whooooo!! Shit

[Em]

Yo, mic check

Testing one, two, um... twelve

(whattup whattup whattup.. Outsidaz)

[Em]

This is my dance song (Outsidaz)

Can you hear me?

(Rah Digga, Pacewon, Young Zee)

[Em]

Aight, ay turn my headphones up

(bust it bust it)

[Eminem]

My favoite color is red, like the blood shed

from Kurt Cobain's head, when he shot himself dead

Women all grabbin at my shishkabob

Bought Lauryn Hill's tape so her kids could starve

(I can't stand white people!)

You thought I was livid, now I'm even more so

Shit I got full blown AIDS and a sore throat

I got a wardrobe with an orange robe {*wolf whistle*}

I'm in the fourth row, signin autographs at your show

(Yo can you sign this right here?)

I just remembered that I'm absent minded

Wait, I mean I've lost my mind, I can't find it

I'm freestylin every verse that I spit

cause I don't even remember the words to my shit (umm, one two)

I told the doc I need a change in sickness

and gave a girl herpes in exchange for syphilis

Put my LP on your Christmas gift list

You wanna get high, here bitch just sniff this

Cum on everybody -- get down tonight [8X]

[Eminem]

Yo.. yo yo yo yo

I tried suicide once and I'll try it again

That's why I write songs where I die at the end

Cause I don't give a fuck, like my middle finger was stuck

and I was wavin it at everybody screamin, "I suck" (I SUCK!!!)

I go on stage in front of a sellout crowd

and yell out loud, "All y'all get the hell out now"

Fuck rap, I'm givin it up y'all, I'm sorry

(But Eminem this is your record release party!)

I'm bored out of my gourd -- so I took a hammer

and nailed my foot to the floorboard of my Ford

Guess I'm just a sick sick bastard

who's one sandwich short of a picnic basket (I ain't got it all)

One Excederin tablet short of a full medicine cabinet

I feel like my head has been shredded like lettuce and cabbage

(ohhhhhhh) And if you ever see a video for this shit

I'll probably be dressed up like a mummy with my wrists slit

Cum on everybody -- get down tonight [8X]

[Eminem]

Got bitches on my jock out in East Detroit

Cause they think that I'm a motherfuckin Beastie Boy {*wolf whistle*}

So I told em I was Mike D

They was like, "Gee I don't know, he might be!"

I told em, "Meet me at Kid Rock's next concert

I'll be standin by the Loch Ness Monster (okay) peace out (bye!!)"

Then I jetted to the weed house

Smoked out til I started bustin freestyles

Broke out then I dipped quick back to the crib, put on lipstick

Crushed up the Tylenol and ate it with a dipstick (*slurping*}

Made a couple of crank calls collect [*brrrrrrring, click*]

"Ken Kaniff from Connecticut, can you accept?"

I wanna make songs all the fellas dub

And murder every rich rapper that I'm jealous of

So just remember when I bomb your set

Yo, I only cuss to make your mom upset

Cum on everybody -- get down tonight [20X]

_________________________________________________

"Rock Bottom"

A-yo!

This song is dedicated to all the happy people

All the happy people who have real nice lives

And who have no idea whats it like to be broke as fuck

[Verse One:]

I feel like I'm walking a tight rope, without a circus net

I'm popping percocets, I'm a nervous wreck

I deserve respect; but I work a sweat for this worthless check

Bout to burst this tech, at somebody to reverse this debt

Minimum wage got my adrenaline caged

Full of venom and rage

Especially when I'm engaged

And my daughter's down to her last diaper

That's got my ass hyper

I pray that god answers, maybe I'll ask nicer

Watching ballers while they flossing in their pathfinders

These overnight stars becoming autograph signers

We all long to blow up and leave the past behind us

Along with the small fry's and average half pinters

While player haters turn bitch like they have vaginas

Cause we see them dollar signs and let the cash blind us

Money will brainwash you and leave your ass mindless

Snakes slither in the grass spineless

[Chorus (x2):]

That's Rock Bottom

When this life makes you mad enough to kill

That's Rock Bottom

When you want something bad enough to steal

That's Rock Bottom

When you feel you have had it up to here

Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear

[Verse Two:]

My life is full of empty promises

And broken dreams

I'm hoping things will look up

But there ain't no job openings

I feel discouraged hungry and malnourished

Living in this house with no furnace, unfurnished

And I'm sick of working dead end jobs with lame pay

And I'm tired of being hired and fired the same day

But fuck it, if you know the rules to the game play

Cause when we die we know were all going the same way

It's cool to be player, but it sucks to be the fan

When all you need is bucks to be the man

Plus a luxury sedan

Too comfortable and roomy in a six

They threw me in the mix

With all these gloomy lunatics

Walk around depressed

And smoke a pound of ses a day

And yesterday went by so quick it seems like it was just today

My daughter wants to throw the ball but I'm too stressed to play

Live half my life and throw the rest away

[Chorus]

There's people that love me and people that hate me

But it's the evil that made me this backstabbing, deceitful, and shady

I want the money, the women, the fortune, and the fame

That Means I'll end up burning in hell scorching in flames

That means I'm stealing your checkbook and forging your name

Lifetime bliss for eternal torture and pain

Right now I feel like just hit the rock bottom

I got problems now everybody on my blocks got 'em

I'm screaming like those two cops when 2pac shot 'em

Holding two glocks, I hope your doors got new locks on 'em

My daughter's feet ain't got no shoes or sock's on 'em

And them rings you wearing look like they got a few rocks on 'em

And while you flaunting them I could be taking them to shops to pawn them

I got a couple of rings and a brand new watch you want 'em?

Cause I never went gold of one song

I'm running up on someone's lawns with guns drawn

[Chorus]

_________________________________________________

"Soap (Skit)"

(feat. Roger, Skyler)

[sounds like a TV soap opera]

[Roger] Skylar Montgomery?

[Skylar] What do you want from me Roger?
[Roger] I know it was you all along messing around with my dear Veronica!
[Skylar] Wait a minute, you hold it right there.

Me and that woman love each other

[Roger] Love!?

What do you know of love?

[Skylar] We were destined to be together

I met her on the beach!

[Roger] Are you out to destroy me?
[Skylar] No Roger. That's not what I want to do

I love her! And were going to be together

[Roger] Never!

_________________________________________________

"As The World Turns"

[Chorus: Repeat 2X]

I don't know why this world keep turning

Round and Round

But I wish it would stop, and let me off right now

Yes man

As the World Turns

We all experience things in life

Trials and Tribulations

That we all must go through

When someone wants to test us

When someone tries our patience

[Eminem]

I hang with a bunch of hippies

and wacky tobacco planters

Who swallow lit roaches

and light up like jack-o-lanterns

Outsiders baby, and we suing the courts

Cause we're dope as fuck and only get a 2 in the source

They never should've booted me out of reform school

Deformed fool,taking a shit in a warm pool

They threw me out the Ramada Inn

I said it wasn't me, I got a twin (Oh my god its you! Not again!)

It all started when my mother took my bike away

Cause I murdered my guinea pig and stuck him in the microwave

After that, It was straight to the 40 ouncers

Slappin teachers, and jacking off in front of my counselors

Class clown freshman, dressed like Les Nessman

Fuck the next lesson, I'll past the test guessing

And all the other kids said Eminem's a dishead,

He'll never last, the only class he'll pass is phys ed

May be true, till I told this bitch in gym class

That she was too fat to swim laps, she needed Slim Fast (Who Me?)

Yeah bitch you so big you walked into big Tanny's and stepped on Jenny Craig

She picked me up to snap me like a skinny twig

Put me in the headlock, then I thought of my guinea pig

I felt the evilness and started transforming (RARRRR!)

It began storming, I heard a bunch of cheering fans swarming

Grabbed that bitch by her hair

Drag her across the ground

And took her up to the highest diving board and tossed her down

Sorry coach, its too late to tell me stop

While I drop this bitch face down and watch her belly flop

[Chorus]

As the World Turns

These are the days of our lives

These are the things that we must go through

Day by day

[Eminem]

We drive around in million dollar sports cars

While little kids hide this tape from their parents like bad report cards

Outsiders, and we suing the courts

Cause we dope as fuck and only get a 2 in The Source

Hypochondriac, hanging out at the laundromat

Where all the raunchy fat white trashy blondes be at

Dressed like a sailor, standing by a pale of garbage

Its almost dark and I'm still tryna nail a trailor park bitch

I met a slut and said "What up, its nice to meet ya"

I'd like to treat ya to a Faygo and a slice of pizza

But I'm broke as fuck and I don't get paid till the first of next month

But if you care to join me, I was bout to roll this next blunt

But I ain't got no weed, no phillies, or no papers

Plus I'm a rapist and a repeated prison escapist

So gimme all your money

And don't try nothing funny

Cause you know your stinking ass is too fat to try to outrun me

I went to grab my gun

That's when her ass put it on me

Wit an uppercut and hit me with a basket of laundry

I fell through the glass doors

Started causing a scene

Then slid across the floor and flew right into a washing machine

Jumped up with a broken back

Thank god I was smocking crack all day

And doped up off coke and smack

All I wanted to do was rape the bitch and snatch her purse

Now I wanna kill her

But so I gotta catch her first

Ran through Rally's parkin lot and took a shortcut

Saw the house she ran up in

And shot her fucking porch up

Kicked the door down to murder this divorced slut

Looked around the room

That's when I seen the bedroom door shut

I know you're in there bitch! I got my gun cocked!

You might as well come out now

She said "Come in, its unlocked!"

I walked in and all I smelled was Liz Claiborne

And seen her spread across the bed naked watching gay porn

She said "Come her big boy, lets get acquainted"

I turned around to run, twisted my ankle and sprained it

She came at me at full speed, nothing could stop her

I shot her five times and every bullet bounced off her

I started to beg "No, please let go"

But she swallowed my fucking leg whole like an egg roll

With one leg left, now I'm hoppin around crippled

I grabbed my pocket knife and sliced off her right nipple

Just trying to buy me some time, then I remembered this magic trick

Den Den Den Den Den Den, Go go gadget dick!

Whipped that shit out, and ain't no doubt about it

It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage

I shouted "Now bitch, lets see who gets the best!"

Stuffed that shit in crooked and fucked that fat slut to death (Ah!! Ah!)

Come here bitch!

Come here!

Take this motherfucking dick!

Bitch, come here!

[Chorus to fade]

And as we go along

Throughout the days of our lives

We all face small obstacles and challenges everyday

That we must go through

These are the things that surround us through our atmosphere

Every day

Every single day the world keeps turning

_________________________________________________

"I'm Shady"

[Eminem]

Who came through with two glocks to terrorize your borough (huh?)

Told you how to slap dicks and murder your girl (I did!)

Gave you all the finger and told you to sit and twirl

Sold a billion tapes and still screamed, "Fuck the world!"

(I'm Slim Shady..) so come and kill me while my name's hot

And shoot me twenty-five times in the same spot (Ow!)

I think I got a generation brainwashed

to pop pills and smoke pot til they brains rot (uhh-oh)

Stop they blood flow until they veins clot

I need a pain shot, and a shot of plain scotch

Purple haze and acid raindrops

Spike the punch at the party and drink pop (gulp gulp)

Shaved my armpits and wore a tank top

Bad Boy, I told you that I can't stop

You gotta make em fear you 'fore you make em feel you

So everybody buy my shit or I'ma come and kill you

I got mushrooms, I got acid, I got tabs and aspirin tablets

I'm your brother when you need, some good weed to set you free

You know me, I'm your friend, when you need a minithin

(I'm Slim Shady..) I'm Shady!!

[Eminem]

I like happy things, I'm really calm and peaceful (uh-huh huh)

I like birds, bees, I like people

I like funny things that make me happy and gleeful (hehehe)

like when my teacher sucked my wee-wee in preschool (Woo!)

The ill type, I stab myself with a steel spike

while I blow my brain out, just to see what it feels like

cause this is how I am in real life (mm-hmm)

I don't want to just die a normal death, I wanna be killed twice (uh-huh)

How you gonna scare somebody with a gun threat

when they high off of drugs they haven't even done yet (Huh?)

So bring the money by tonight - cause your wife

said this the biggest knife she ever saw in her life (Help me! Help me!)

I try to keep it positive and play it cool

Shoot up the playground and tell the kids to stay in school (Stay in school!)

Cause I'm the one they can relate to and look up to better

Tonight I think I'll write my biggest fan a fuck you letter

I got mushrooms, I got acid, I got tabs and aspirin tablets

I'm your brother when you need, some good weed to set you free

You know me, I'm your friend, when you need a minithin

(I'm Slim Shady..) I'm Shady!!

[Eminem]

Yo.. I listen to your demo tape and act like I don't like it

(Aww that shit is wack!)

Six months later you hear your lyrics on my shit

(What?? That's my shit!)

People don't buy shit no more they just dub it

That's why I'm still broke and had the number one club hit (Yup, uh huh)

But they love it when you make your business public

so fuck it, I've got herpes while we on the subject (uh-huh)

And if I told you I had AIDS y'all would play it

cause you stupid motherfuckers think I'm playin when I say it

-- Well, I do take pills, don't do speed

Don't do crack (uh-uhh) don't do coke, I do smoke weed (uh-huh)

Don't do smack, I do do shrooms, do drink beer (yup)

I just wanna make a few things clear

My baby mama's not dead (uh-uhh) she's still alive and bitchin (yup)

And I don't have herpes, my dick's just itchin

It's not syphilis, and as for being AIDS infested

I don't know yet, I'm too scared to get tested

I got mushrooms, I got acid, I got tabs and aspirin tablets

I'm your brother when you need, some good weed to set you free

You know me, I'm your friend, when you need a minithin

(I'm Slim Shady..) I'm Shady!!

(Ha hah-ha, ha! Ha hah, hah..) I told you I was Shady!!

(Ha hah-ha, hah-ha! Ha hah, hah-ha, hah-ha, hah-ha)

Y'all didn't wanna believe me!

I'm Shady!!

.. And that's my name

_________________________________________________

"Bad Meets Evil"

(feat. Royce Da Five-Nine)

[intro]

[Cowboy]

I reckon you ain't familiar with these here parts

You know, there's a story behind that there saloon

Twenty years ago, two outlaws took this whole town over

Sheriffs couldn't stop em

Quickest damn gun slingers I've ever seen

Got murdered in cold blood

That ol' saloon there was their lil' home away from home

They say the ghosts of Bad and Evil still live in that tavern

And on a quiet night

You can still hear the footsteps of Slim Shady and Royce Da Five-Nine

[Eminem]

I don't speak, I float in the air wrapped in a sheet

I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat

I translate when my voice is read through a sismograph

And a noise is bred, picked up and transmitted through Royce's head (AAHHH)

Trapped him in his room, possessed him and hoist his bed

Till the evilness flows through his blood like poisonous lead

Told him each one of his boys is dead

I asked him to come to the dark side, he made a choice and said

[Royce]

Who hard? yo I done heard worse

We can get in two cars and accelerate at each other

To see which one'll swerve first

Two blind bandits panic, whose mental capacity holds

That of a globe on top of nine other planets

Kissed the cheek of the devil

Intelligence level is hell-ier than treble peakin on speakers in the ghetto

Dismissal, I'm not a fair man, disgraced the race of a atheist

Intercepting missles wit my bare hands like a patriot

One track sliced without swords, I buried the Christ corpse

In my past life when the Black Knight mounted the white horse

And stay over-worked, its like the Nazis in the nations

Collaborating, attemptin to take over the earth

[Eminem]

Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil

We hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people

He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal

Above the Law cuz I don't agree wit police either (shit, me neither)

We ain't eager to be legal

So please leave me wit the keys to your Jeep Eagle

I breathe ether in three amounts

When I stab myself in the knee with a diseased needle

Releasin rage on anybody in squeezing range

Cold enough to make the seasons change into freezing rain

(He's insane) No I'm not, I just want to shoot up and I'm pissed off

Cuz I can't find a decent vain

[Royce]

The disaster wit dreds

I'm Bad enough to commit suicide and survive long enough

To kill my soul after I'm dead

When in danger it's funny actually my flavor's similar to a waiter

Cuz I serve any stranger wit money

I spray a hundred, man until they joint chains

While slippin bullets at point blank range like they was punches

Piss on a flag and burn it, murder you then come to your funeral

Serve this lobbyist, strangle your body then confirm you

Whippin human ass, throwin blows crackin jaws

Wit my fists wrapped in gause, dipped in glue and glass

I'm blazin MC's, at the same time amazin MC's

Somehow MC's ain't that eye-brow raisin to me

From all of angles of us, flash a mack loud enough to cast a avalanche

And bust till volcanoes errupt

[interlude]
[phone rings]

Hello? (Billy) Aiyyo what's up (we're comin to get you)

STOP, THEY KNOW IT'S US!!

[Eminem]

I used to be a loudmouth, remember me? (uh-ah)

I'm the one who burned your house down (oh)

Well I'm out now (shit), and this time I'm comin back to blow your house up

And I ain't gon leave you a window to jump out of

Give me two fat tabs and three shrooms

And you won't see me like fat people in steam rooms

And when I go to hell and I'm gettin ready to leave

I'ma put air in a bag and charge people to breathe

[Royce + (Eminem)]

Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil

And we hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people

He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal

Against peaceful, see you in hell for the sequel

(We'll be waitin) See you in hell

Wall Street, Royce Da Five-Nine, Slim Shady

See you in hell for the sequel (bye bye)

Bad Meets Evil, what? (till next time)

[Cowboy]

And so that's the story when Bad Meets Evil

Two of the most wanted individuals in the county

Made Jesse James and Billy the Kid look like law-abiding citizens

It's too bad they had to go out the way they did

Got shot in the back comin out of that ol' saloon

But their spirits still live on till this day

Shhh...[spits] wait, did y'all hear that?

[Footsteps and windblowing]

_________________________________________________

"Still Don't Give a Fuck"

[Eminem]

A lot of people ask me.. am I afraid of death..

Hell yeah I'm afraid of death

I don't want to die yet

A lot of people think.. that I worship the devil..

that I do all types of.. retarded shit

Look, I can't change the way I think

And I can't change the way I am

But if I offended you? Good

Cause I still don't give a fuck

I'm zonin off of one joint, stoppin a limo

Hopped in the window, shoppin a demo at gunpoint

A lyricist without a clue, what year is this?

Fuck a needle, here's a sword, bodypierce with this

Livin amuk, never givin a fuck

Gimme the keys I'm drunk, and I've never driven a truck

But I smoke dope in a cab

I'll stab you with the sharpest knife I can grab

Come back the next week and re-open your scab (YEAH!)

A killer instinct runs in the blood

Emptyin full clips and buryin guns in the mud

I've calmed down now -- I was heavy once into drugs

I could walk around straight for two months with a buzz

My brain's gone, my soul's worn and my spirit is torn

The rest of my body's still bein operated on

I'm ducked the fuck down while I'm writin this rhyme

Cause I'm probably gonna get struck with lightnin this time

[Chorus:]

For all the weed that I've smoked - yo this blunt's for you

To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!

To all the friends I used to have - yo I miss my past

But the rest of you assholes can KISS MY ASS

For all the drugs that I've done - yo I'm still gon' do

To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!

For everytime I reminisce - yo I miss my past

But I still don't give a fuck, y'all can KISS MY ASS

[Eminem]

I walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you

And cut you so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue

I'll hang you til you dangle and chain you with both ankles

And pull you apart from both angles

I wanna crush your skull til your brains leaks out of your veins

And bust open like broken water mains

So tell Saddam not to bother with makin another bomb

Cause I'm crushin the whole world in my palm

Got your girl on my arm and I'm armed with a firearm

So big my entire arm is a giant firebomb

Buy your mom a shirt with a Slim Shady iron-on

And the pants to match ("Here momma try em on")

I get imaginative with a mouth full of adjectives,

a brain full of adverbs, and a box full of laxatives

(Shittin on rappers) Causin hospital accidents

God help me before I commit some irresponsible acts again

[Chorus]

[Eminem]

I wanted an album so rugged nobody could touch it

Spend a million a track and went over my budget (Ohh shit!)

Now how in the fuck am I supposed to get out of debt?

I can't rap anymore - I just murdered the alphabet

Drug sickness got me doin some bugged twitches

I'm withdrawn from crack so bad my blood itches

I don't rap to get the women - fuck bitches

Give me a fat slut that cooks and does dishes

Never ran with a click - I'm a posse

Kamikaze, strappin a motherfuckin bomb across me

From the second I was born, my momma lost me

I'm a cross between Manson, Esham and Ozzy

I don't know why the fuck I'm here in the first place

My worst day on this earth was my first birthday

Retarded? What did that nurse say? Brain damage?

Fuck, I was born during the earthquake

[Chorus]

_________________________________________________

"Get You Mad"

(feat. King Tech)

Yo.. yo! [Eminem hachs up spit]

Mic check...(My dick!)

Testing...one, two [Eminem hach up spit on mic]

Ffff-fuck...(My dick!) my nuts..

My attitude is worse than N.W.A.'s was

I'll battle you over stupid shit and diss people

Who ain't have shit to do with it, like Cool J does (My tattoo!)

You see me standin outside of your buildin; screamin,

Puffy is good, (Hey!) but Slim Shady is for the children! (Wait!)

I look at my life in a new light -- fuck it

Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- fuck what you like

You're probably hear me rap half-hearted; cause I don't like rap anyway

I'm just tryin to get my porno career started

Every place and event.. (been there, done that)

Shit, dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went

[zipper sound] Come on, let's go!

Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters

Lesson one: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers

Lesson two: Face em and diss em (Whattup dog?)

Don't give 'em a demo; kidnap 'em (I want you to come with me)

And make em come to your basement and listen

(you're gonna fuckin check this out)

Lesson three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with canibus

And put yours on the owner's table (Here listen!)

Lesson four: Know you heard this before:

"Hey let me get your number; I'll call you tomorrow, for sure!"

Don't act like a fan -- you wanna get signed?

Get the whitest A&R you can find

Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can

Lesson five: Get a hook-up at jive

Dress up like I.C.P and have them come see you perform live

And that's the key, but when you see me on the street; I ain't

Givin you shit bitch - don't even bother askin me (Get away from me!)

Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I'm spittin

Cause I'm always shittin when I'm rappin like master p (Unnnggggh!)

Got a blowjob from paula jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouth

My balls broke both of her collarbones (Oww!)

Told mya this shit was all about me-ah (it's all about me..)

Gave alyssa milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea (You're a dick!)

And all three of my main girls said see-ya

Cause brandy and monica walked in and caught me fuckin aaliyah

(What? Oh my God!) I splish splash while I'm takin a bath

Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh

White trash -- fuckin your wife in the ass (Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!)

While you're out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass

[Chorus]

So if I hurt your self-esteem

And you get dissed too bad (Yo why you diss me?)

You know I just be sayin that to get you mad

And when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had (A big dick!)

You know I just be sayin that to get you mad

I can't listen to that song, that shit's too sad!

You know I just be sayin that to get you mad

He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad! (Nurse! nurse!)

You know I just be sayin that to get you mad

What a wonderful day; I should go outside and play

Ain't no need to sit inside the house and hibernate

Hi Renee! (Oh hi!) I was just about to toss a live grenade

In your driveway (What?) and drive away [car peels out]

Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with aids

Blood drippin from it, rippin your stomach like a paper mache

You talk a lotta shit, but you was never ill though

I'm sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow

Tipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laugh (Mooooo!)

Jumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped his neck and broke it in half

Wagin wars, went on stage and sprayed cage with (agent orange)

And wiped my ass with his page in source (Here!)

The demon is here, steamin this year

I rip (mystikal's) voicebox out, scream in his ear (Ahhhhhh!)

It's not a gimmick bitch, it's an image I live it

Give a fuck? I don't know what a fuck is to give it

Yeah I don't think this guy is well.. I'm high as hell

I'll beat you with a live cat when I'm swinging him by his tail

[Impersonating Method Man]

I'll fuckin', I'll fuckin'

Lay your nuts on the dresser

Just your nutsack by itself

And bang them shits with a spiked bat

Cut your neck off and sew your head right back

And leave you like that

You just triggered the prick who just mixed liquor

Who's itchin to leave you disfigured and stiffer than chris-topher

Reeves, I was teething with strep throat

While your mother was breastfeeding

And gave her the flesh-eating disease

I'm iller than takin a hammer and beatin your knees

And walkin through south central l.a., bleedin in jeans

(am I a blood or a crip?) wakin up the next day in breathin machines

Flashin back to being shot and repeatin the scenes

On how you just got smoked, and if you do live

You'll be too scared to tell it, like a biggie and 'pac joke

[Chorus]

I know that makes you real mad, don't it? (Uh-Huh)

That's right, Slim shady (Yup) sway & tech

Sprayin' wreck (Bitch!)

And we don't give a heck (Uh-Uh)

Or a damn.. or a fuck.. or a shit

So suck my motherfuckin dick

_________________________________________________

"Kill You"

[Eminem]
When I was just a little baby boy,
my momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man,
she used to tell me he hated me
But then I got a little bit older
and I realized, she was the crazy one
But there was nothing I could do or say to try to change it
cause that's just the way she was

They said I can't rap about being broke no more
They ain't say I can't rap about coke no more
(AH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
'til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AH!) These motherfuckers are thinking I'm playing
Thinking I'm saying the shit cause I'm thinking it just to be saying it
(AH!) Put your hands down bitch, I ain't gonna shoot you
I'ma pull +YOU+ to this bullet, and put it through you
(AH!) Shut up slut, you're causing too much chaos
Just bend over and take it like a slut, OK Ma?
"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You god damn right BITCH, and now it's too late
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happen in two states
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN! [*chainsaw revs up*]
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
dangling from his neck, while his head barely hangs on
Blood, guts, guns, cuts
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts

[Chorus: Eminem]

Bitch I'ma kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls neither - you ain't nothing but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef
We ain't gonna never stop beefing I don't squash the beef
You better kill me! I'ma be another rapper dead
for popping off at the mouth with shit I shouldn't said
But when they kill me - I'm bringing the world with me
Bitches too! You ain't nothing but a girl to me
.. I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (cause why?)
Cause Shady, will fucking kill you (ah-ha ha)
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (why?)
Cause Shady, will fucking kill you..

[Eminem]
Bitch I'ma kill you! Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm trying to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't "acid rap," but I rap on acid
Got a new blow-up doll and just had a strap-on added
WHOOPS! Is that a subliminal hint? NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
Eminem offend? NO! Eminem insult
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
to do it again, THEN, if he does it again
you'll probably end up jumping out of something up on the 10th
(Ah!) Bitch I'ma kill you, I ain't done this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
in a tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hiding murder material
in a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of our medicine
out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us in

[Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!")]

[Eminem]
Eh-heh, know why I say these things?
Cause lady's screams keep creeping in Shady's dreams
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks
this eighty G's a week to say the same things TWEECE!
TWICE? Whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots! I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
just to argue with 'em cause their ratings stink?
FUCK THAT! I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer
from fat bitch to off seventy-thousand pounds of her
from principal to the student body and counselor
from in-school to before school to out of school
I don't even believe in breathing I'm leaving air in your lungs
just to hear you keep screaming for me to seep it
OK, I'M READY TO GO PLAY
I GOT THE MACHETE FROM O.J.
I'M READY TO MAKE EVERYONE'S THROAT ACHE
You faggots keep egging me on
'til I have you at knifepoint, then you beg me to stop?
SHUT UP! Give me your hands and feet
I said SHUT UP when I'm talking to you
YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME!

[Chorus]
[first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!", ninth line starts "Bitch I'ma kill you!"]

[Eminem]
Ha ha, I'm just playing ladies
You know I love you

_________________________________________________

"Stan"
(feat. Dido)

[Chorus: Dido]
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

[1st Chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background]
[2nd Chorus: full volume with beat right after "thunder" noise]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.
We should be together too

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; [*screaming*] Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
[car tires squeal] [CRASH]
.. [brief silence] .. [LOUD splash]

[Chorus: Dido]

[Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!

_________________________________________________

"Who Knew"

I never knew I..
I never knew I..
Mic check one-two
I never knew I..
Who woulda knew?
I never knew I..
Who'da known?
I never knew I..
Fuck would've thought
I never knew I..
Motherfucker comes out
I never knew I..
and sells a couple of million records
I never knew I..
And these motherfuckers hit the ceiling
I never knew I..

[Eminem]
I don't do black music, I don't do white music
I make fight music, for high school kids
I put lives at risk when I drive like this {*tires screech*}
I put wives at risk with a knife like this (AHHH!!)
Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now
I'm in the back seat of your truck, with duct tape stretched out
Ducked the fuck way down, waitin to straight jump out
put it over your mouth, and grab you by the face, what now?
Oh - you want me to watch my mouth, how?
Take my fuckin eyeballs out, and turn em around?
Look - I'll burn your fuckin house down, circle around
and hit the hydrant, so you can't put your burning furniture out
(Oh my God! Oh my God!) I'm sorry, there must be a mix-up
You want me to fix up lyrics while the President gets his dick sucked?
[*ewwww*] Fuck that, take drugs, rape sluts
Make fun of gay clubs, men who wear make-up
Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor
Quit tryin to censor music, this is for your kid's amusement
(The kids!) But don't blame me when lil' Eric jumps off of the terrace
You shoulda been watchin him - apparently you ain't parents

[Chorus: Eminem]

Cause I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch

[Eminem]
So who's bringin the guns in this country? (Hmm?)
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet gun through customs over in London
And last week, I seen a Schwarzaneggar movie
where he's shootin all sorts of these motherfuckers with a uzi
I sees three little kids, up in the front row,
screamin "Go," with their 17-year-old Uncle
I'm like, "Guidance - ain't they got the same moms and dads
who got mad when I asked if they liked violence?"
And told me that my tape taught 'em to swear
What about the make-up you allow your 12-year-old daughter to wear?
(Hmm?) So tell me that your son doesn't know any cuss words
when his bus driver's screamin at him, fuckin him up worse
("Go sit the fuck down, you little fuckin prick!")
And fuck was the first word I ever learned
up in the third grade, flippin the gym teacher the bird (Look!)
So read up, about how I used to get beat up
peed on, be on free lunch, and change school every 3 months
My life's like kinda what my wife's like (what?)
Fucked up after I beat her fuckin ass every night, Ike
So how much easier would life be
if 19 million motherfuckers grew to be just like me?

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
I never knew I.. knew I'd..
have a new house or a new car
A couple years ago I was more poorer than you are
I don't got that bad of a mouth, do I?
Fuck shit ass bitch cunt, shooby-de-doo-wop (what?)
Skibbedy-be-bop, a-Christopher Reeves
Sonny Bono, skis horses and hittin some trees (HEY!)
How many retards'll listen to me
and run up in the school shootin when they're pissed at a
teach-er, her, him, is it you is it them?
"Wasn't me, Slim Shady said to do it again!"
Damn! How much damage can you do with a pen?
Man I'm just as fucked up as you woulda been
if you woulda been, in my shoes, who woulda thought
Slim Shady would be somethin that you woulda bought
that woulda made you get a gun and shoot at a cop
I just said it - I ain't know if you'd do it or not

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
How the fuck was I supposed to know?

_________________________________________________

"Steve Berman (Skit)"
(with Steve Berman)

[door creaks open]
[background music "What's The Difference" by Dr. Dre]

[Eminem] 'eyyy!
[Steve] Hey Em, what's up?
[Eminem] Steve Berman. What's goin' on, man, how you doin'?
Good to see you again. What's up?
[Steve] Em, could you come in here and have a seat, please?
[Eminem] Umm, yeah, what's...
[Steve] Vanessa? Shut the door
[Vanessa] Okay [door creaks shut]
[Eminem] So what's up? How's orders looking for the first week?
[Steve] It would be better if you gave me nothing at all
[Eminem] Wh...
[Steve] This album is less than nothing. I can't sell this fucking record
[Eminem] Wha...
[Steve] Do you know what's happening to me out there?
[Eminem] Wh-wha-what's the problem?
[Steve] Violent Ground told me to go fuck myself!
[Eminem] Who's Violent...?
[Steve] Tower Records told me to shove this record up my ass!
Do you know what it feels like
to be told to have a record shoved up your ass?
[Eminem] But, I...
[Steve] I'm gonna lose my fuckin' job over this
You know why Dre's record was so successful?
He's rappin' about big-screen T.V.s, blunts, 40's and bitches.
You're rappin' about homosexuals and Vicadin
[Eminem] I mean-
[Steve] I can't sell this shit!
[Eminem] What...
[Steve] Either change the record or it's not coming out!
[Eminem] What, I...
[Steve] Now get the fuck out of my office!
[Eminem] What am I supposed...
[Steve] NOW!
[Eminem] Alright man....

_________________________________________________

"The Way I Am"

Whatever...
Dre, just let it run
Aiyyo turn the beat up a little bit
Aiyyo... this song is for anyone... fuck it
Just shut up and listen, aiyyo...

I sit back with this pack of Zig Zags and this bag
Of this weed it gives me the shit needed to be
The most meanest MC on this - on this Earth
And since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just curse
And just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in itself to relieve
All this tension dispensin these sentences
Gettin this stress that's been eatin me recently off of this chest
And I rest again peacefully (peacefully)...
But at least have the decency in you
To leave me alone, when you freaks see me out
In the streets when I'm eatin or feedin my daughter
To not come and speak to me (speak to me)...
I don't know you and no,
I don't owe you a mo-therfuck-in thing
I'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick
If you tempt me my tank is on empty (is on empty)...
No patience is in me and if you offend me
I'm liftin you 10 feet (liftin you 10 feet)... in the air
I don't care who is there and who saw me just jaw you
Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of arguin' (of arguin')...
I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be is just me

[Chorus:]
And I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered
With all of this nonsense it's constant
And, "Oh, it's his lyrical content -
- the song 'Guilty Conscience' has gotten such rotten responses"
And all of this controversy circles me
And it seems like the media immediately
Points a finger at me (finger at me)...
So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie
Or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up
When you don't give a fuck, when you won't just put up
With the bullshit they pull, 'cause they full of shit too
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up his school
And they blame it on Marilyn (on Marilyn)... and the heroin
Where were the parents at? And look where it's at
Middle America, now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see, an upper class ci-ty
Havin this happenin (this happenin)...
Then attack Eminem 'cause I rap this way (rap this way)...
But I'm glad 'cause they feed me the fuel that I need for the fire
To burn and it's burnin and I have returned

[Chorus:]
And I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

I'm so sick and tired of bein admired
That I wish that I would just die or get fired
And dropped from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top on "My Name is... "
And pigeon-holed into some pop-py sensation
That got me rotation at rock'n'roll stations
And I just do not got the patience (got the patience)...
To deal with these cocky caucasians who think
I'm some wigger who just tries to be black 'cause I talk
With an accent, and grab on my balls, so they always keep askin
The same fuckin questions (fuckin questions)...
What school did I go to, what hood I grew up in
The why, the who what when, the where, and the how
'Til I'm grabbin my hair and I'm tearin it out
'Cause they drivin me crazy (drivin me crazy)... I can't take it
I'm racin, I'm pacin, I stand and I sit
And I'm thankful for ev-ery fan that I get
But I can't take a SHIT, in the bathroom
Without someone standin by it
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole I'm glad

[Chorus:]
'Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

_________________________________________________

"The Real Slim Shady"

[Eminem]
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
[*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]

'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

[Eminem]
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

[Chorus 4X]

[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up

_________________________________________________

"Remember Me?"
(feat. RBX, Sticky Fingaz)

[spray can being shook up and sprayed several times]

[RBX]
Remember me? ("Step in, execution")
Remember me? ("I have no remorse")
Remember me? ("I'm 'High Powered'")
Remember me? ("I drop bombs like Hiroshima")

For this one it's the X, you retarded?
Cause I grab the mic and get DOWN, like Syndrome
Hide and roam into the masses, without boundaries
which qualifies me for the term "universal"
Without no rehearsal, I leak words that's controversial
Like I'm not, the one you wanna contest, see
cause I'll hit yo' ass like the train did that bitch
that got "Banned From TV" -- heavyweight hitter
Hit you watch your whole head split up
Loco-is-the-motion, we comin through
Hollow tips is the lead, the .45 threw

[Sticky Fingaz]
Remember me? ("Throw ya gunz in the air!")
Remember me? ("Slam! Slam!")
Remember me? ("Nigga 'Bacdafucup'")
Remember me? ("Chka-chka-Onyx!")

Niggaz that take no for an answer, get told no
Yeah I been told no but it was more like, "No, no, no!!!"
Life a bitch that'll fuck you if you let her
Better come better than better to be a competitor
this vet is ahead of,
The shit is all redder, you deader and deader
A medic instead-a the cheddars and credda
Settle vendetta one metal beretta from ghetto to ghetto
Evidence? NOPE! Never leave a shred-of
I got the soul of every rapper in me, love me or hate me
My moms got raped by the industry and made me
I'm the illest nigga ever, I told you
I get more pussy than them dyke bitches Total
Want beef, nigga? PBBT! You better dead that shit
My name should be "Can't-Believe-That-Nigga-Said-That-Shit"
Probably sayin, "He ain't a killer", but I'm killin myself
Smoke death, fuck bitches raw, on the kitchen floor
So think what I'ma do to you, have done to you
Got niggaz in my hood who'd do that shit for a blunt or two
What you wanna do, cocksuckers? We glock busters
'Til the cops cuff us, we'll start ruckus and drop blockbusters
'Round the clock hustlers, you cannot touch us
I'm gettin wires niggaz wantin me dead, wantin my head
You think it could be somethin I said? {*echoes*}

[Eminem]
Remember me? ("I just don't give a fuck!")
Remember me? ("Yeah, fuck you too!")
Remember me? ("I'm low down and I'm shifty!")
Remember me? ("I'm Shady!")

When I go out, I'ma go out shootin
I don't mean when I die, I mean when I go out to the club, stupid
I'm tryin to clear up my fuckin' image,
so I promised the fuckin critics
I wouldn't say "fuckin" for six minutes
(*click* Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
My baby's mom, bitch made me an angry blonde
So I made me a song, killed her and put Hailie on
I may be wrong, I keep thinkin these crazy thoughts
in my cranium, but I'm stuck with a crazy mom
("Is she really on as much dope as you say she's on?")
Came home, and somebody musta broke in the back window
and stole two loaded machine guns and both of my trenchcoats
Sick sick dreams of picnic scenes, two kids, sixteen
with M-16's and ten clips each
And them shits reach through six kids each
And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets?
FUCK THAT! PBBT! Tou faggots can vanish to volcanic ash
and re-appear in hell with a can of gas, AND a match
Aftermath, Dre, grab the gat, show 'em where it's at
(What the fuck you starin at, nigga?)

Don't you remember me?!
Remember me?!!
Remember me??!
REMEMBER ME!!!!

_________________________________________________

"I'm Back"

[Chorus: Eminem repeat 4X]

That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back (I'm Back) (SLIM SHADY!) I'm Back

[Eminem]
I murder a rhyme one word at a time
You never, heard of a mind as perverted as mine
You better, get rid of that nine, it ain't gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?
I'm waitin for hell like hell shit I'm anxious as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, be thankful it's jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
Thirteen I was puttin shells in a gauge on a shelf
I used to, get punked and bullied on my block
'til I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mailbox
("Mom! MOM!") I used to give a - fuck, now I could give a fuck less
What do I think of suc-cess? It sucks, too much press I'm stressed
Too much stares two breasts, too upset
It's just too much mess, I guess I must just blew up quick (yes)
Grew up quick (no) was raised right
Whatever you say is wrong, whatever I say is right
You think of my name now whenever you say, "Hi"
Became a commodity because I'm W-H-I-
-T-E, cuz MTV was so friendly to me
Can't wait 'til Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life, how is it perfect?
Read my lips bitch, what, my mouth isn't workin?
You hear this finger? Oh it's upside down
Here, let me turn this motherfucker up right now

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
I take each individual degenerate's head and reach into it
just to see if he's influenced by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this shit he's an innocent victim
and becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe
[vocal scratches] My name is Slim Shady
I been crazy way before radio didn't play me
The sensational [vocal scratch "Back is the incredible!"]
With Ken Kaniff, who just finds the men edible
It's Ken Kaniff on the, internet
Tryin to, lure your kids with him, into bed
It's a, sick world we live in these days
"Slim for Pete's sakes put down Christopher Reeve's legs!"
Geez, you guys are so sensitive
"Slim it's a touchy subject, try and just don't mention it"
Mind with no sense in it, fried to get so frenetic
whose eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smokin 'em
with my windows tinted, with nine limos rented
Doin lines of coke in 'em, with a bunch of guys hoppin out
all high and indo scented (inhales, exhales)
And that's where I get my name from, that's why they call me

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
I take seven (kids) from (Columbine), stand 'em all in line
Add an AK-47, a revolver, a nine
a Mack-11 and it oughta solve the problem of mine
and that's a whole school of bullies shot up all at one time
Cause (I'mmmm) Shady, they call me as crazy
as the world was over this whole Y2K thing
And by the way, N'Sync, why do they sing?
Am I the only one who realizes they stink?
Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think?
Lip sync and buy a bigger size of earrings?
It's why I tend to block out when I hear things
Cause all these fans screamin is makin my ears ring (AHHHH!!!)
So I just, throw up a middle finger and let it linger
longer than the rumor that I was stickin it to Christina
Cause if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
it'd be Jennifer Lopez, and Puffy you know this!
I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother
I still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it ain't mine, what's my name?

[Chorus]

[Eminem {vocal scratching}]
Guess who's b-back, back
Gue-gue-guess who's back (Hi mom!)
[scratch] Guess who's back
[scratch] Gue [scratch] guess who's back
D-12 [scratch] Guess who's back
Gue, gue-gue-gue, guess who's back
Dr. Dre [scratch] Guess who's back
Back back [scratch] back
[scratch]
Slim Shady, 2001
I'm blew out from this blunt (sighs) fuck

_________________________________________________

"Marshall Mathers"

[Eminem]
You know I just don't get it
Last year I was nobody
This year I'm sellin records
Now everybody wants to come around like I owe em somethin
Heh, the fuck you want from me, ten million dollars?
Get the fuck out of here

[Chorus One: Eminem]

You see I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy,
I don't know why all the fuss about me (fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before,
all they did was doubt me (did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
and try to take shots at me (take shots at me)

[Eminem]
Yo, you might see me joggin, you might see me walkin
You might see me walkin a dead rottweiler dog
with it's head chopped off in the park with a spiked collar
hollerin at him cause the son of a bitch won't quit barkin
(grrrr, ARF ARF) Or leanin out a window, with a cocked shotgun
Drivin up the block in the car that they shot 'Pac in
Lookin for Big's killers, dressed in ridiculous
blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is
Double barrel twelve gauge bigger than Chris Wallace
Pissed off, cause Biggie and 'Pac just missed all this
Watchin all these cheap imitations get rich off 'em
and get dollars that shoulda been there's like they switched wallets
And amidst all this Crist' poppin and wristwatches
I just sit back and just watch and just get nauseous
and walk around with an empty bottle of Remi Martin
startin shit like some 26-year-old skinny Cartman ("God damnit!")
I'm anti-Backstreet and Ricky Martin
with instincts to kill N'Sync, don't get me started
These fuckin brats can't sing and Britney's garbage
What's this bitch retarded? Gimme back my sixteen dollars
All I see is sissies in magazines smiling
Whatever happened to whylin out and bein violent?
Whatever happened to catchin a good-ol' fashioned
passionate ass-whoopin and gettin your shoes coat and your hat tooken?
New Kids on the Block, sucked a lot of dick
Boy/girl groups make me sick
And I can't wait 'til I catch all you faggots in public
I'ma love it.. (hahaha)
Vanilla Ice don't like me (uh-uh)
Said some shit in Vibe to spite me (yup)
Then went and dyed his hair just like me (hehe)
A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me
and run around screamin, "I don't care, just bite me" (nah nah)
I think I was put here to annoy the world
and destroy your little 4-year-old boy or girl
Plus I was put here to put fear in faggots who spray Faygo Root Beer
and call themselves "Clowns" cause they look queer
Faggot2Dope and Silent Gay
Claimin Detroit, when y'all live twenty miles away (fuckin punks)
And I don't wrestle, I'll knock you fuckin faggots the fuck out
Ask 'em about the club they was at when they snuck out
after they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out
(AHHH!) Ducked down and got paintballs shot at they truck, blaow!
Look at y'all runnin your mouth again
when you ain't seen a fuckin Mile Road, South of 10
And I don't need help, from D-12, to beat up two females
in make-up, who may try to scratch me with Lee Nails
"Slim Anus," you damn right, Slim Anus
I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flaming faggots!

[Chorus Two: Eminem]

Cause I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm not a wrestler guy,
I'll knock you out if you talk about me (you talk about me)
Come and see me on the streets alone
if you assholes doubt me (assholes doubt me)
And if you wanna run your mouth
then come take your best shot at me (your best shot at me)

[Eminem]
Is it because you love me that y'all expect so much of me?
You little groupie bitch, get off me, go fuck Puffy
Now because of this blonde mop that's on top
and this fucked up head that I've got, I've gone pop?
The underground just spunned around and did a 360
Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies
"Oh, he just did some shit with Missy,
so now he thinks he's too big to do some shit with MC Get-Bizzy"
My fuckin bitch mom's suin for ten million
She must want a dollar for every pill I've been stealin
Shit, where the fuck you think I picked up the habit?
All I had to do was go in her room and lift up her mattress
Which is it bitch, Mrs. Briggs or Ms. Mathers?
It doesn't matter your [attorney Fred Gibson's a] faggot!
Talkin about I fabricated my past
He's just aggravated I won't ejaculate in his ass (Uhh!)
So tell me, what the hell is a fella to do?
For every million I make, another relative sues
Family fightin and fussin over who wants to invite me to supper
All the sudden, I got 90 some cousins (Hey it's me!)
A half-brother and sister who never seen me
or even bothered to call me until they saw me on TV
Now everybody's so happy and proud
I'm finally allowed to step foot in my girlfriend's house
Hey-hey! And then to top it off, I walked to the newsstand
to buy this cheap-ass little magazine with a food stamp
Skipped to the last page, flipped right fast
and what do I see? A picture of my big white ass
Okay, let me give you motherfuckers some help:
uhh, here - DOUBLE XL, DOUBLE XL
Now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
Ahh fuck it, I'll even buy a couple myself

[Chorus One (2X)]

_________________________________________________

"Drug Ballad"

[Girl] Yeah, hahahaha...whooooo, shit!
[Em] (aight)
[Eminem] Guess what? I ain't coming in yet...
I'll come in a minute
[Eminem] Ayo...This is my love song...it goes like this

[Eminem]
Back when Mark Walhberg was Marky Mark
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to mix Hen' with Bacardi Dark
And when it, kicks in you can hardly talk
And by the, sixth gin you're gonna probably crawl
And you'll be, sick then and you'll probably barf
And my pre-diction is you're gonna probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
And everything's spinning
You're beginin' to think women
are swimming in pink linen again in the sink
Then in a couple of minutes that bottle of Guinness is finished
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches
You have the right to remain violent and start wilin'
Start a fight with the same guy that was smart eyin' you
Get in your car, start it, and start drivin'
Over the island and cause a 42 car pile-up
[Em's spaceman voice]Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot
Looking at the life on this planet, sir, no sign of it
All I can see is a bunch of smoke flyin'
And I'm so high that I might die if I go by it
Let me out of this place
I'm outta place
I'm in outer space
I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
'Cause every time I go to try to leave
Someone keeps pullin' on my sleeve
I don't wanna, but I gotta stay
These drugs really got a hold of me

'Cause every time I try to tell them "no"
They won't let me ever let them go
I'm a sucker all I gotta say
These drugs really got a hold of me

[Eminem]
In third grade, all I used to do
Was sniff glue through a tube and play Rubic's cube
17 years later I'm as Rude as Jude
Scheming on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I've got no game
And every face looks the same
They've got no name
So I don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want to whoever I want
Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want
However, I do show some respect to few
As ecstasy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"
I gotta go bitch
You know I have stuff to do
'Cause if I get caught cheatin' then I'm stuck with you
But in the long run
These drugs are probably going to catch up sooner or later
But fuck it, I'm on one
So let's enjoy
Let the X destroy your spinal cord
So it's not a straight line no more
'Til we walk around looking like some wind-up dolls
Shit's sticking out of our backs like a dinosaur
Shit, six hits won't even get me high no more
So bye for now
I'm going to try to find some more

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow
When you swallow it all wallow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow you're probably going to want to do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend? Screw it
And what's a little bit of alcohol poisoning?
And what's a little fight?
Tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life
Live it however you wanna
Marijuana is everywhere
Where was you brought up?
It don't matter as long as you get where you're going
'Cause none of the shit is going to mean shit where we're going
They tell you to stop, but you just sit there ignoring
Even though you wake up feeling like shit every morning
But you're young
You've got a lot of drugs to do
Girls to screw
Parties to crash
Sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now, I wouldn't
I would have did more shit that people said that I shouldn't
But I'm all grown up now and upgraded and graduated
Did better drugs and updated
But I've still got a lot of growing up to do
I've still got a whole lot of throwing up to spew
But when it's all said and done I'll be 40
Before I know it with a 40 on the porch telling stories
With a bottle of Jack
Two grandkids in my lap
Babysitting for Hailie while Hailie's out getting smashed

[Chorus 2x]
[Same as previous, but 2nd time the last line is repeated like this]

Drugs really got a hold of me
They really got a hold of me
'Cause drugs really got a hold of me
They really got a hold of me

_________________________________________________

"Amityville"
(feat. Bizarre (D-12))

(kill kill kill)
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, duh-da-da-da-da
(kill kill kill)
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, dumm..
(kill kill kill)

[Chorus: Eminem]

Mentally ill from Amityville (HE'LL)
Accidentally kill your family still
Thinkin he won't? God-damnit he will (HE'SSSS)
Mentally ill from Amityville
[(HE'SSSS) - on repeats only]

[Eminem]
I get lifted and spin til I'm half-twisted
Feet planted and stand with a grin full of chapped lipstick (SMACK)
Pen full of ink, think sinful and rap sick shit
Shrink pencil me in for my last visit
Drink gin til my chin's full of splashed whiskers (whoosh)
Hash whiskey and ash til I slap bitches (smack)
Ask Bizzy, he's been here the past six years
Mash with me you'll get in imagine this

[Chorus 2X]

[Bizarre]
I fucked my cousin in his asshole, slit my mother's throat
(AH!) Guess who Slim Shady just signed to Interscope?
My little sister's birthday, she'll remember me
For a gift I had ten of my boys take her virginity
(Mmm mm mmm!) And bitches know me as a horny ass freak
Their mother wasn't raped, I ate her pussy while she was 'sleep
Pissy-drunk, throwing up in the urinal (YOU FUCKING HOMO!)
That's what I said at my dad's funeral

[Chorus 2X]

[Eminem]
That's why the city is filled with a bunch of fucking idiots still (still)
That's why the first motherfucker poppin some shit he gets killed (killed)
That's why we don't call it Detroit, we call it Amityville ('Ville)
You can get capped after just having a cavity filled (filled)
Ahahahaha, that's why we're crowned the murder capital still (still)
This ain't Detroit, this is motherfucking Hamburger Hill! (Hill!)
We don't do drivebys, we park in front of houses and shoot
and when the police come we fucking shoot it out with them too!
That's the mentality here (here) that's the reality here (here)
Did I just hear somebody say they wanna challenge me here?? (huh?)
While I'm holding a pistol with this many calibres here?? (here??)
Got some registration and just made this shit valid this year? (year?)
Cause once i snap i cant be held accountable for my actions
and that's when accidents happen,
when a thousand bullets come at your house
and collapse the foundation around and they found you
and your family in it (AH!)
GOT DAMNIT HE MEANT IT WHEN HE TELLS YOU

[Chorus 2X]

Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum..

_________________________________________________

"Bitch Please II"
(feat. Dr. Dre, Nate Dogg, Snoop Dogg, Xzibit)

[Dre]
Yeah whattup Detroit?
[Snoop]
Nu-uh, nu-uh nuh-no he didn't!
Ahhh! They didn't do it again,
what-what, what-what?
Did you shit on these niggaz two times Dr. Dre?
[Dre]
Oh fo' sho'!
[Snoop]
Uh-uh, naw, ya smell that?
This is special right here
What-what, what-what-what?
Yeah, it's a toast to the boogie baby
Uhh, to the boogie-oogie-oogie
Yeah, y'know! What's crackin Dre?

[Dr. Dre]
Just let me lay back and kick some mo' simplistic pimp shit
on Slim's shit and start riots like Limp Bizkit (Limp Bizkit)
Throw on 'Guilty Conscience' at concerts
and watch mosh pits til motherfuckers knock each other unconcious
(Watch out now!) Some of these crowds that Slim draws
is rowdy as Crenshaw Boulevard when it's packed and fulla cars
Some of these crowds me and Snoop draw +IS+ niggaz from Crenshaw
from Long Beach to South Central
[*LOUD SCREAM*] Whoa, not these niggaz again
These grown-ass ignorant men with hair-triggers again
(Hehe) You and what army could harm me?
D-R-E and Shady, with Doggy from Long Beach
(East-syde!) Came a long way, to makin these songs play
It'll be a wrong move, to stare at me the wrong way
I got a long uz', and I carry it all day
(Blaow!) Sometimes it's like a nightmare, just bein Andre,
but I..

[Snoop Dogg]
somehow, someway - tell 'em, nigga
You know about Dogg-ay (Snoop Dogg)
Now let me cut these niggaz up and show em where da fuck I'm comin from
I get the party crackin from the shit that I be spittin son
Hit-and-run, get it done, get the funds, split and run
Got about fifty guns, and I love all of 'em the same - bang bang!
Damn baby girl what's your name?
I forgot - what'd you say it was? Damn a nigga buzzed
Hangin in the club, with my nephew Eminem
(Whassup Slim?) Whattup cuz? (Whattup Snoop?)
The Great White American Hope, done hooked up
with the King of the motherfuckin West coast, bay-bayy!

[Chorus: Nate Dogg (+Snoop)]

And you don't really wanna fuck, with me
Only nigga that I trust, is me
Fuck around and make me bust, this heat
[Snoop] That's, the devil, they always wanna dance

[Xzibit]
I'm the Head Nigga In Charge, I'm watchin you move
You're found dead in your garage, with ten o'clock news coverage
Gotta love it, cause I expose the facade
Your little lungs is too small to hotbox with God
All jokes aside, come bounce with us
Standin over you with a twelve gauge, about to bust
It's like ashes to ashes and dust to dust
I might leave in the bodybag, but never in cuffs
So who do you trust? They just not rugged enough
When things get rough I'm in the club shootin with Puff
Bitch, please - you must have a mental disease
Assume the position and get back down on your knees - c'mon

[Chorus 2X]

[Eminem - impersonating Snoop]
Awww naww, big Slim Dogg
Eighty pound balls, dick six inch long
Back up, in the, heezy BAY-BAY
He's Sha-day!

[Snoop]
He's so cra-zay!

[Eminem]
Hahaha! Gimme the mic, let me recite, 'til Timothy White
pickets outside the Interscope offices every night
What if he's right? I'm just a criminal, makin a living
off of the world's misery - what in the world gives me the right
to say what I like, and walk around flippin the bird
Livin the urban life, like a white kid from the 'burbs
Dreamin at night of screamin at mom, schemin to leave
Run away from home and grow to be as evil as me
I just want you all to notice me and people to see
that somewhere deep down, there's a decent human being in me
It just can't be found, so the reason you've been seeing this me
is cause this is me now, the recent dude who's being this mean
So when you see me, dressin up like a nerd on TV
or heard the CD usin the fag word so freely
it's just me being me, here want me to tone it down?
[LOWER pitch] Suck my fuckin dick, you faggot
You happy now? Look here

[Eminem - impersonating Snoop]
I start some trouble everywhere that I go (that I go)
Ask the bouncers in the club cause they know (cause they know)
I start some shit they throw me out the back do' (the back do')
Come back and shoot the club up with a fo'-fo' (a fo'-fo')

[Chorus 2X]

[Xzibit]
2001 and forever
Slim Shady, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, X to the Z, Nate Dogg
C'mon, yeah!!

_________________________________________________

"Kim"

[Eminem]
Aww look at daddy's baby girl
That's daddy baby
Little sleepy head
Yesterday I changed your diaper
Wiped you and powdered you.
How did you get so big?
Can't believe it now your two
Baby you're so precious
Daddy's so proud of you
Sit down bitch
If you move again I'll beat the shit out of you

[Eminem]
(Eminem as Kim)
(Okay)
Don't make me wake this baby
She don't need to see what I'm about to do
Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you?
How could you?
Just leave me and love him out the blue
Oh, what's a matter Kim?
Am I too loud for you?
Too bad bitch, your gonna finally hear me out this time
At first, I'm like all right
You wanna throw me out? That's fine!
But not for him to take my place, are you out you're mind?
This couch, this TV, this whole house is mine!
How could you let him sleep in our bed?
Look at Kim
Look at your husband now!
(No!)
I said look at him!
He ain't so hot now is he?
Little punk!
(Why are you doing this?)
Shut the fuck up!
(You're drunk! You're never going to get away at this!)
You think I give a fuck!
Come on we're going for a ride bitch
(No!)
Sit up front
(Well I can't just leave Hailie alone, what if she wakes up?)
We'll be right back
Well I will you'll be in the trunk

[1] - So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

[Repeat 1]

You really fucked me Kim
You really did a number on me
Never knew me cheating on you would come back to haunt me
But we was kids then Kim, I was only 18
That was years ago
I thought we wiped the slate clean
That's fucked up!
(I love you!)
Oh God my brain is racing
(I love you!)
What are you doing?
Change the station I hate this song!
Does this look like a big joke?
(No!)
There's a four year old boy lyin' dead with a slit throat
In your living room, ha-ha
What you think I'm kiddin' you?
You loved him didn't you?
(No!)
Bullshit you bitch don't fucking lie to me
What the fuck's this guy's problem on the side of me?
Fuck you asshole, yeah bite me
Kim, KIM!
Why don't you like me?
You think I'm ugly don't you
(It's not that!)
No you think I'm ugly
(Baby)
Get the fuck away from me, don't touch me
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU
How the fuck could you do this to me?
(Sorry!)
How the fuck could you do this to me?

[Repeat 1 (2x)]

Come on get out
(I can't I'm scared)
I said get out bitch!
(Let go of my hair, please don't do this baby)
(Please I love you, look we can just take Hailie and leave)
Fuck you, you did this to us
You did it, it's your fault
Oh my God I'm crackin' up
Get a grip Marshall
Hey remember the time we went to Brian's party?
And you were like so drunk that you threw up all over Archie
That was funny wasn't it?
(Yes!)
That was funny wasn't it?
(Yes!)
See it all makes sense, doesn't it?
You and your husband have a fight
One of you tries to grab a knife
And during the struggle he accidentally gets his Adam's apple sliced
(No!)
And while this is goin' on
His son just woke up and he just walks in
She panics and he gets his throat cut
(Oh my God!)
So now they both dead and you slash your own throat
So now it's double homicide and suicide with no note
I should have known better when you started to act weird
We could've...HEY! Where you going? Get back here!
You can't run from me Kim
It's just us, nobody else!
You're only making this harder on yourself
Ha! Ha! Got'cha!
(Ahh!)
Ha! Go ahead yell!
Here I'll scream with you!
AH SOMEBODY HELP!
Don't you get it bitch, no one can hear you?
Now shut the fuck up and get what's comin to you
You were supposed to love me
{*Kim choking*}
NOW BLEED! BITCH BLEED!
BLEED! BITCH BLEED! BLEED!

[Repeat 1 (2x)]

_________________________________________________

"Under The Influence"
(feat. D-12)

[Eminem]
Translation
So you can suck my dick if you don't like, my shit
Cause I was high when I wrote this so suck, my dick - ha ha!
Two pills I pop, 'til my pupils swell up like two pennies
I'm Clint Eastwood in his mid-twenties
A young ass man with a trash can strapped to the back of his ass
so the rats can't chew through his last pants
I'm like a mummy at night, fightin with bright lightning
Frightened with five little white Vicadin pills bitin him
I'm like a fuckin wasp in the hospital lost
Stingin the fuck outta everything I come across in the halls
I light a candle and place it up on the mantle
Grab a knife at the blade and stab you with the fuckin handle
So when you find yourself wrapped up in the blinds, hurtin
[Swifty] Bitch it's too late
[Eminem] Cause once you're hung from the drapes, it's curtains

[Swifty]
I'm an instigator, .380 slug penetrator
Degradin, creatin murders to kill haters
Accused for every crime known through the equator
They knew I did it (uh-huh) for havin blood on my 'gators
My weed'll hit yo' chest like a double barrel gauge an'
I'm a black grenade that'll blow up in yo' face [*BLAM*]
With a fifth in me, when I guzzle Remi I do shit on purpose
You never hear me say, "Forgive me"
I'm snatchin every penny - it gotta be that way nigga, face it
That weed I sold to you, Brigade laced it
You hidin, I make the president get a facelift
Niggaz just afraid, handin me they bracelets
Chillin in the lab wasted
I'm the type that'll drink Kahlua and gin - throw up on the mic
Your life is ruined, you get socked right on site
And even at the Million Man March, we gon' fight

[Chorus: Eminem]

So you can suck my dick if you don't like, my shit
Cause I was high when I wrote this so suck, my dick
Cause I don't give a fuck if you don't like, my shit
Cause I was high when I wrote this so suck, my dick

[Bizarre]
I'm a compulsive liar, settin my preacher on fire
Slashin your tires, flyin down Fenkel and Meyers
Plates expired, soon as I'm hired, I'm fired
Jackin my dick off in a bed of barbed wire
(Hey, is Bizarre performing?) Bitch didn't you read the flyer?
Special invited guest will be, Richard Pryor
(Aren't you a male dancer?) Nah bitch, I'm retired
Fuckin your bitch in the ass with a tire iron
I'm ripped, I'm on an acid trip
My DJ's in a coma for lettin the record skip.. [needle pops]
Lettin the record skip.. [needle pops]
Lettin the record skip.. [needle pops] (Damn!)
[DJ reverses the record and scratches it back on beat]
I'm fuckin anything when I'm snortin
It's gonna cost 300 dollars to get my pit bull an abortion
[dog whines] Some bitch asked for my autograph
I called her a whore, spit beer in her face and laughed
I drop bombs like I was in Vietnam
All bitches is hoes, even my stinkin ass mom

[Proof]
Aiyyo flashback, two feets, two deep up in that ass crack
Weed laced with somethin [*gun cocks*] nigga pass that
In Amsterdam we only hang out with hash rats
At a 'Stop the Violence' rally, I blast gats
Be your mom on publishin, get your ASCAP-ped
The Kuniva, divide up your cash stack
Run your motherfuckin pockets, ASAP
I don't need a platinum chain, bitch I snatch Shaq's
Born loser, half theif and half black
Bring your boys and your guns and get laughed at
Bitch smacker, rich rappers get they Jag jacked
and found chopped up in a trash bag

[Kuniva]
We stranglin rappers until the point they can't yell
cause they crew is full of fags and sweeter than bake sales
Reckless, come from behind and snatch your necklace
Gruesome, and causin more violence than nine hoodlums
I grapple your adam's apple until it crackle
Run right past you, turn around, grab you and stab you
Get executed, cuz I'm a "Luni"
I got a "Yukmouth" and it's polluted
I cock it back then shoot it
I love snatchin up players thugs and young ballers
Shoot up the household, even the young toddlers
Brigade barricade to bring the noise
While the bullets break your bones up like Christmas toys
If I go solo, I'm doin a song with Bolo
A big Chinese nigga, screamin "Kuniva yo yo.."
I leave ya face leakin, run up in church
and smack the preacher while he's preachin
Take a swing at the deacon

[Kon Artis]
I used to tell cats I sold weed and weight
I was straight 'til I got caught sellin em shake
I'm ignorant, with the intent to snatch your rent
I got kicked out of summer camp for havin sex in my tent
with the superintendent's daughter, my brain's out of order
I've been a Kon Artis since I was swimmin in water
In cahoots with this nigga named Carlisle Von
who got fired from UPS for tryin to send you a bomb
(Special delivery!) I signed to a local label for fun
Say I got cancer, get dropped, take the advancement and run
Driveby you in the rain while you carry your son
Call your house and hang up on you for not givin me none
Born straight up out a pussy but a son of a gun
Got a reputation for havin niggaz runnin they funds
Used to be the type of nigga that was foldin some one's
'til I met your fat mama, now I'm rollin in dough

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
Haha.. suck my motherfuckin dick
D-12.. Dirty motherfuckin Dozen
Nasty like a stank slut bitch with thirty fuckin husbands
Bizarre kid
Swifty McVeigh
The Kon Artis
The Kuniva
Dirty Harry
Haha, and Slim Shady..

_________________________________________________

"Criminal"

[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. stupid fucking questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, shit.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cause I'm a

CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL

[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Staring at my jeans, watching my genitals bulging (Ooh!)
That's my motherfucking balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checking the mail
Get it? Checking the 'male'?
How many records you expecting to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from topping these charts
And you can't stop me from dropping each March
with a brand new CD for these fucking retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave

[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]

I'm a CRIMINAL
Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep going, I don't take shit from no one

[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - hard-liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna fuck me up for saying the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - [*kch*] the maniac's in
Replacing the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm taking his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL

[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfucking money and get the fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waiting on you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fucking money in the bag bitch
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit looking around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fucking kill you
Hurry the fuck up! [*BOOM*] Thank you!

[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet [*dog whines*]
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck
You motherfucking chickens ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut [*tape unrolls*]
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fucking rapist in a Jason mask

[Chorus 2X]

_________________________________________________

"The Kids"

[Mr. Mackey] [Eric Cartman]
And everyone should get along..
Okay children quiet down, quiet down
Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr. Shady
Children quiet down please
Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP!)
Mr. Shady will be your new substitute
while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (HE'S GOT AIDS!)
Good luck Mr. Shady

[Eminem]
Hi there little boys and girls (FUCK YOU!)
Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom
and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
and wait in the parkin lot for waitresses off the clock
when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)
And even if they escaped and they got the cops
the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off her
and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
and what it might do to you
So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you

[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]

See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to drugs (that's right)
So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)
Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

[Eminem]
My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)
Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it
Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid
and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back
So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
and his eyes roll back in his skull {*blblblblblb*}
His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*BLEH*}
And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you

[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]

See children, drugs are bahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to drugs (smoke crack)
So you don't act like everyone else does (that's right)
And there's really nothin else to say (but umm)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

[Eminem]
And last but not least, one of the most humungous
problems among young people today, is fungus
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..
And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?)
Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
(Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Claire
Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)
And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus
Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue (How come?)
cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)
See drugs are bad, it's a common fact
But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!)
But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault
So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,
cause I'm bad for you

[Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)]

See children, drugs are bahhhd (uh-huh)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (put that down)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can ask)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (and she will)
So kids say no to drugs (say no)
So you don't act like everyone else does (like I do)
And there's really nothin else to say (that's right)
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?

[Mr. Mackey] [Eric Cartman]
Come on children, clap along (SHUT UP!)
Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin dick!)
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)
So don't do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!)
so there'll be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!)
(Mushrooms killed Kenny! *fart* Ewww, ahhh!)
(So, fucked up, right now..)

_________________________________________________

_________________________________________________

_________________________________________________